Tresor De Beaute

Resolution 2012: Get Rid of Foolishness

2012-01-11T11:29:00.000-05:00

     For this first post of 2012, I thought of doing a year in review but what the heck, who needs another year in review or me blabbing about my spectacular accomplishments? Instead, I elected to share a significant experience which I hope will be of help to some.
     She's my second mom. Eleven years ago, I immigrated in this country. I had come to go to school which I completed with a Bachelor of Science in Computer Science. This achievement would not have taken place, has it not been for her and her family. A little background: Our families had been in each other lives for some years since back home in Cameroon. We lived in the same city, same neighborhood, same street.
So when my parents decided to send me overseas, they were the rightful choice. From day one, she was on me and with me. I needed to change school, there we were going up down between my new school and immigration. I needed to buy a car, my very first car, there we were at the city auction, she picked my first car: 600.00 it cost, good'ol days. I needed a new SSN, there we were between school and the SSN office. I needed a place where I could braid hair to make some money, she landed me her living room. First day of school, there she was, first ride to school. Now, all this for FREE. A side note: Americans like a the word "FREE" although nothing is ever free. But in my case, it truly was. A roof over my head: free, a meal at noon and a meal in the evening: free. Although, later on while staying with her and family, I had learned that there had been some discontentment from the beginning about my presence, this went for about 18 months til the time to part our ways came. And what did I do? I left her a goodbye, good luck note. The kind that says, thanks for everything although at times you were a biyotch. You get the picture. Foolish me took everything for granted. I had this presumptuous idea that nobody can't change or alter the perfect plans that God had/has for me. Even though I still believe it to be true, it is also of the utmost importance to acknowledge and honor those that God has put on your path for success. My mentor, Dr Mike Murdock always says, if you fail in your life it will be because of someone you chose to dishonor. If you succeed in your life, it will be because of someone you chose to honor. Needless to say this first act of dishonor and foolishness did not wait to birth its fruits some years later down the road.
Year 2003: One of my good friend immigrates here in the U.S. I helped her with the school paperwork, pretty much with everything that I mentioned above. I'm of those who believe that you should spread your blessings around. I welcomed her with the same amenities for a year, free food, free roof ...etc. It took her four years to finally show her true colors. What followed is a gruesome story that will be featured in a different post. It was nothing short of a perfect transcript straight from a soap opera. Needless to say, we're no longer on speaking terms since 2008 and I doubt we'll ever be.
     So back to year 2011, as I was reaching some milestones, I realized it was important to learn from the past. Most people in general, think they've learned from their mistakes but in actually take no step to prevent themselves to repeat them. And there are actions that unquestionably bring about curse on us or put us in danger of the fire of hell*, and one of them is dishonor. Jesus Himself tells us that "Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, 24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift" . Whenever you see a statement that starts with "Therefore", you must find out why is there for (Bill Johnson). So before he gets to the "Therefore", He says "And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell."
     So many of us Christians constantly live in the danger of the fire of hell without even knowing it, or knowing and choosing to believe that grace "covers" it all. Although The Master has clearly established ways how to escape it. Moreover, Jesus was teaching this to his disciples not unbelievers! (May he who has ears, let him hear!). In the light of that awakening, I took my courage to call my second mom, whom I had been estranged for about nine years, and ask for her forgiveness, which she gracefully granted me. I took upon myself to honor her anyhow I can for I strongly believe that Honor qualifies you to enter any future God has designed for you (Dr Mike Murdock).

*[Matt5:22-23]

Tresorly Yours,
Tresor De Beaute

A Balanced Life: Good Food, Good Friends, Good Sex

2011-10-14T14:47:00.002-04:00

     I went for my annual the other day and was surprised to see that I've gained 6 pounds since last year during my last visit. I still wear the same size of clothes and my diet has not changed much. This got me to think: what is that I've done differently? What changed? What were the factors?
     Looking back, I can easily connect the dots and answers these questions with no ambiguity. I got to see my whole family this year: dad, mom, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, nephews, in-laws...everybody. One of the best occasions allowed me to gather with friends that I hadn't seen in over a decade.
     As for the food, like I mentioned earlier, my regimen has not changed much if at all. I don't drink, unless it's red wine much less than a full glass and during a special circumstance; i don't smoke, nor do drugs. However, one of the best foods I've been eating, it really surpasses my broiled fresh tilapia, is the Word of God. I've started this year with the challenge of reading the Bible in its entirety. So far, I've read the New Testament 3 times, still going through the OT, I'm re-reading the books of Solomon before attacking the prophets. One phenomenon I noticed is that, I just want more of God in my life, every aspect of it. For instance, not too long ago I had been struggling with unforgiveness, but every time I read the Gospels, I'm just confounded by Christ's love for us and I tell myself if He's been able to forgive me (and I had done worse to him), I sure can forgive my foes.
     Another instance, in the buying of a first house a specific criteria was an upper room that would be dedicated to prayer and/or spiritual retreat. This permanent consciousness of God constantly guides my path and the choices I make.
     Last but not least, sex!! Good Christians also have good sex. This is such a fascinating experience of all earthly beings that even the "sons of God"* wanted to partake in it. The French Current versions refers to those "sons of God" as "the inhabitants of heavens." There is nothing more depressing or stressing than being married and not having sex. So, here it's how it goes. If you're married and love the Lord Jesus, you must have good sex. That's all.

Tresorly Yours,
Tresor de Beaute

*[Genesis6: 2,4]

It's Just Sex,...Everybody does that -- Rationalizing Our Sexual Behaviors

2011-08-30T12:40:00.000-04:00

     I'm a grown [wo]man. I don't need permission... It's my body. It's not like I'm hurting anybody... I'm already getting old, I need to get pregnant before it's too late... We're getting married... Who needs a piece of paper to prove anything, it's all about the heart... It's not like I'm sleeping around... Everybody does that...
These are some of the excuses we often hear and use in order to engage in sexual encounters.
     Then, after we're done with the encounters, as Christians, we cover it all with "the blood of Christ", saying to ourselves and anybody who wants to hear us "After all, aren't we all saved by grace?..." "But where sin increased, grace increased all the more"* conveniently forgetting what follows next: "Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We are those who have died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?" **. To make matters even worse, we top it with a "God looks at the heart. He knows my heart is in the right place...
     Whatever excuses we use to justify our behaviors whether is to have sex, having an affair or engage in very questionable demeanors, they don't fly with God. He himself has magnified his Word above his Name***. Which means that He holds Himself and everybody else to his Standards, to his Word. What He says, stays. He won't modify to satisfy our preferences and/or fairy tales.
In the same train of thoughts, His word also declares that "if we sin willfully after we have received the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins, but a certain fearful expectation of judgment"****
     Let me break this down. If you do something evil and you know in your heart it's evil and/or it's not right, and/or your conscience repeatedly questions you...[Let me make a point here, to know that something is evil, you have to know what is good, to know that something is NOT right, you have to know what is right] and above all you claim to know Jesus Christ meaning you've received the knowledge of the truth as he said "I am the way, the TRUTH and the life..." but yet choose to do the evil thing, there won't be anymore grace to cover your "arse", just patiently wait for God's judgement. It may not come right away, but it will surely come.
     We no longer hear on our pulpits nowadays and I sure do wish we'll be judged by all the good stuffs that come from them, unfortunately it won't be the case. Besides during judgment day, our biggest regrets will not be over sins we had committed rather over all missed opportunities we had to rely on Him and chose not to.
     So what should we say? Are we screwed? No more love, no more grace? Of course not! He is LOVE!! However, the perfection of his love can only be manifested by the glory of his righteousness. We can't accept God's love and reject his righteousness. We can't choose one over the other.
     What should we do? Continuing the same behaviors? Keep using the same excuses? [after all it feels so good to gratify our flesh!] BY NO MEANS!! We must still repent and plead with God for deliverance for despite everything, He still remains in the business of total restoration full time.

This is enough food for thoughts. Stay tuned for part II.

Tresorly Yours,
Tresor De Beaute

* [Rom 5:20]
**[Rom6:1-2]
***[Ps138:2]
**** [Heb10:26-27]

God, Your [Wo]Man and Your Relationship (Part II)

2011-08-04T12:18:00.000-04:00

3- A bad posture is you about to get marry but something is telling you "Don't do it!" or you're just not sure. Usually, in this scenario the person you're involved with may meet all your criteria, but for one reason or another, you're either not at peace with the decision to marry him/her or you're just encountering many obstacles. Friends, frenemies and enemies opposing your choice, Family members combating your partner, parents not totally on board with your decision. If you're in such a situation, it means you have 45000 French men fighting against you. And 45,000 French men can't be wrong. You might want to stop, retreat into a quiet time in a quiet place with The Lord and reconsider.
I recently read a book by Perry Stone in which he shared a story about him being engaged to a fellow Christian female but every time people would see them together, they'd always make a comment in the sense that they (Perry and his fiancee) did not belong together. She wasn't a "bad" person as humanely defined, neither was he. But there was just this thing that wasn't clicking. They ended up breaking up the engagement and today Perry is wonderfully and happily married to his current wife Pam. Now, not all stories are drama free like Perry's. Many of us have received warnings against one or another individual that we were considering for our long time noce. But we usually presented a deaf ear and later reaped the consequences. I know of at least three different stories of people finding themselves in this predicament with disastrous endings. In one of those stories, the guy's family members were all against him marrying his fiancée who was from a different tribe. A little bit of background, both protagonists were saved and distinguished Christians in their communities. And although the girl's in-laws did not approve of her, they never interfere in her marriage. However, a strange thing happened. She cheated on her husband numerous times and over a long period of time, got pregnant from someone else, passed the child as her husband's, later the duplicity was discovered and she finally divorced him.
Again not all stories are as that tragic but they all leave emotional scars or sometimes incurable sentimental diseases because of one wrong choice we have made. There are many things we would NEVER had done, if we knew in advance the cost we would have incurred.

4- A bad posture is you fighting temptation. For this predicament, there's no other alternative than to flee even if you have to flee with half your clothes on. If you're a very proud person like me, think about this:
"You are slave to the one you obey"* . If you obey your flesh which leads you to sin, you're slave to sin. And if you don't like the idea, let alone the act, then walk away! Period.

*[Rom6:16] - NIV

Tresorly Yours
Tresor De Beaute

God, Your [Wo]Man and Your Relationship (Part I)

2011-07-20T15:50:00.001-04:00

     A decade and half ago, I decided to get serious with God. I recognized that His standards weren't mine, I recognized that, were He to judge me according to His law, I wouldn't pass the test. So I asked Him through Christ Jesus to forgive me of my sins and give me another chance. Since then, I've been around the Christian block long enough to hear and see relationship disasters spread among my fellows Christians. Today my post will address those of us who are in a bad posture. What's a bad posture?
1- A bad posture is you in a relationship with a non-believer.
2- A bad posture is you already married to a non-believer.
3- A bad posture is you about to get marry but something is telling you "Don't do it!" or you're just not sure.
4- A bad posture is you fighting temptation.
     I'm not going to be the one to tell you to cut off your relationship with a non believer although that's what you should do. However, I understand that if you've already developed feelings for the guy/gal it becomes a very intricate situation. That said, if on a scale of 1-10 with 10 being the strongest, your feelings are between 0-4, you can still be rescued. Confess and ask your Father in heaven to forgive you for stepping into the bad side, then cut off the relationship period.
   If your feelings are between [5-7], oh boy, you're screwed...almost. At this stage, you've already convinced yourself the gal/guy is the one for you. Nobody can't tell you otherwise, even a speaking donkey will not do it unless God himself steps off his throne to pay you a visit in your room, in the middle of the night, surrounded by a white bright light. Other than that, the only thing that will save you is one of the following:
- The guy/gal breaks up with you.
- You develop Alzheimer and you forget that you're in a bad relationship and eventually the guy/gal breaks up with you.
- You're accused of murder/theft/treachery..[add to the list] and the guy/gal realizes there's no more any future with you, and s/he breaks up with you.
- You die.
Your capacity to make the right decision will depend of the depth of your love for God and your willingness to obey Him. Other than that, you're screwed!
     If your feelings are between [8-10], the deal is closed. You're married and there's no going back. If you acknowledge that you're in the wrong for marrying the bad person, then there's still hope for you. All you have to do is to repent and ask for forgiveness to God or anybody else you may have hurt. If you're sincere, God will intervene in your favor. Will he punish you? Yes, he punished David the man after his own heart after he killed Uriah to marry his wife. The child that was born out of his union with Bathsheba died. But God restored him and gave him another child who he baptized "Jedidiah" meaning "greatly loved by God"* and who later became the greatest, most prosperous king the earth ever known**.

     So yes, God is good, God is forgiving, God is loving. However all of His goodness, forgiveness and lovingness is meaningless if you don't receive it along with His righteousness. The greatest and most important decision a man or woman will ever make in their life is the one to follow Him. The next greatest decision is the choice of a mate. Therefore, be wise and don't repeat the mistakes that some of us made, don't waste your time, don't waste your life. Better to be alone than to be in bad company. Warnings and grace always precede judgment [Perry Stone]. Receive this as a warning or extended grace [depending on your predicament] and save your life some headaches. As a man I greatly respect once said, when the devil can't set you up with flagrant sins [adultery, fornication, drugs,...etc.], he'll either distract you with stuffs you're not supposed to do or [when he's really scare of you] he'll make sure to send the wrong person in your life. Whatever the case, God in his Great love always forewarns us, and a man forewarned is a man forearmed. I'll stop here for now and will touch the two last points on the next post.

* [2Sam12:24-25]
**[I King10:23-27]

Tresorly yours
Tresor De Beaute

Why Would A Christian Believer Knowingly Marry A Non-Believer?

2011-07-08T13:44:00.000-04:00

     It's been 10 and half years that I've set my foot in this country. I was young [still am], ambitious [still am] and in love [no more] with a fella that had an unquenchable love for God. I couldn't dream of anyone better for me. But the relationship ran its course and we parted our ways as it often happens with LDR.
     My criteria for a serious contender stayed the same: Serious Christian, hard worker with an intellectual appetite on various issues, not just biblical, not just academia not just politic but a mixture of all the above and some more. Soon, I found out that I had to compromise on some of those criteria. Life in America proved not to be life in Africa. Two years later, after turning down a serious prospect because I wasn't ready for marriage at that very moment then, I was back on the market with my eyes open. I saw and conversed with all kinds of Christians.
     I remember Daniel (of course that's a fake name to protect his identity), tall, handsome, well groomed and White. We met within the walls of our church and never outside of them. The first turn off came when at every conversation he'd veer it towards sex. I would wonder, he can't even say let alone spell my last name and he's already talking about what?? The 2nd turn off equally gruesome as the first, was him telling me that his parents, who are pastors, would not approve of him being with dark skin woman. Did I mention that they were pastors? This is only instance among three where I had been the direct protagonist, which leads to my points below:
- The lack of serious Christian prospects: this point goes beyond not being able to catch the right cat. It often involves a brother/sister who is "engaged" to at least two sisters/brothers at the same time. He's interested in you but doesn't clearly reveal his intentions nor tells you that he has his eyes somewhere else on someone else. Many sisters/brothers have been victims of this kind of "Chrismance" (Christian romance).
- Disappointment with Christians: After one, two or three encounters with the above, disappointment and bitterness towards the brotherhood or sisterhood of the traveling Christian love sets territory in your heart. And it becomes an excuse to date outside the landmarks.
- Immigration papers: Now this is a touchy subject for many immigrants in this country. If it was legal and not seen as a crime to kill to get papers, many will be accused of murder today. Many come close to it though. I've heard stories of immigrants who came here already married under the laws of their originating countries, nevertheless married a citizen, stayed married for the amount of time needed for them to also have their citizenship or their green card the least, then divorced their citizen husband/wife, to finally [re]marry the person they truly love.
- Ignorance: Today in our churches, with the main emphasis carried on money, give give and give, many Christians are just ignorant of what their God requires from them when it comes to their marital life. Hence they follow their heart, make the best possible decision with the best available information. That's one form of ignorance. The other form is the well informed Christian who deliberately chooses to ignore their beliefs and/or go against what the Bible teaches on the subject, rationalizing their bad decisions.
     After an altercation with any of these "obstacles", no wonder many of us Christians Hard core believers found ourselves, to our own demise, unequally yoked. Whether you've reasoned your way into such a covenant or you were just ignorant and now you are wondering if you're screwed or living outside the will of God, depending of your heart disposition, the answer could be gloom or doom. And this will be the focus of the next post. For now, remember this: **"If anyone sins and does what is forbidden in any of the LORD’s commands, even though they do not know it, they are guilty and will be held responsible."

Let He who has ears hears or should I say let he who has eyes read

Tresorly Yours,
Tresor de Beaute

**Lev5:17 [NIV]

Can The Difference of Religion Crash Your Relationship?

2011-06-25T16:11:00.000-04:00

     Many practicing religious people have understood that a critical step towards a successful relationship is to have a partner with the same religious beliefs. That's why many practicing Muslims will not marry someone who is not a Muslim unless they convert to Islam, idem for Jews, Buddhist or Hindus but not so much for Christians.
     Hence, we've seen the birth of many "unequally yoked" marriages with the big majority going up in flames.
Disclosure: This post is not going to be some theological discourse with the goal to convince you not to date this non-believer or that spiritual but non-church going person. I'll just take a few minutes of your time to make some empirical statements.
      It had been an on and off relationship over a span of 3 years. We both knew where each of us stood on the religious domain. I was [still am] a hand clapping, tongue speaking, church going believer and him a non-practicing, catholic raised, non-church going unbeliever. Typical Sunday mornings schedule were spent with me driving off to church and him having a "service" with Tim Russert [R.I.P] or entertaining himself with The Sopranos on Netflix.
     Religion or God would barely make our conversation list, not because we were afraid to discuss it rather we had a silent, polite understanding "You don't mess with my God" and I won't mess with you non-church going "arse" and we never stepped on each toes, that was the agreement period.
     As long as the agreement was respected the peace-o-meter would measure the peace within the relationship to a 6 or 7 on a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being the highest satisfactory level. The disrupting peace factors could range from banal subjects like complaining about his missing scarf to non-hackneyed subjects like me accusing him [rightfully so] not to keep his word, with all these shenanigans, NEVER had religion carried the winning cup for disturbing the peace. However reality displayed a whole different scenario: although quarrels were medium rare, each of them consistently would leave the pernicious taste of rotten food. And what do you do with rotten food? You throw it in the garbage and that's where the relationship finally ended.
     After each altercation, I would always wonder about the root cause of the heinous words. It took a couple of years during a conversation with a man of God, for me to understand that, it's the difference in the essence of the Spirit that animates the believer and the non-believer that can create violent clashes. It is the spirit inside the non-believer, at times unbeknownst to the latter, hating anything that comes from the Light of Jesus, that will stir disputes and animosity. That's often why small missteps, unnoticeable peccadilloes could easily turn into unstoppable, unsurmountable, rains of repellent and venomous exchanges [between you the believer and your non-believing partner], dangerously flirting with the point of no return. And 9 out 10 those "mixed" relationships reached that point.
     So I guess the question is: Should a [serious] convinced and converted Christian-believer marry a non-Christian? Paul urges us to get married to avoid sexual immorality but it must be with a brother/sister who belongs to the Lord*. If you're already married to a non-believer, as long as the non-believer is willing to live with you, you must remain married to him or her period. Nevertheless, having a [serious] convinced and converted Christian-believer like yourself as a spouse, annihilates 50% of the battles, struggles and roadblocks you'll encounter in your relationship. Marriage, like sex is a divine concept that to succeed, must be honored by following the divine precepts ordained from God Almighty through Christ Jesus.
   This is no new teaching nor heresy but not everybody can accept or believe it. Some do accept but make different choices. Thus prompting the question What would induce a non-Christian to marry a Christian? That will be the highlight of the next post. For now, let's remember this: "People don't do what they believe in, they just do what's most convenient and then they repent" [Bob Dylan]

He who has an ear, let him hear or should I say He who has eyes, let him read?

*[1Cor7:39~NIV]

Tresor De Beaute

Got Hurt? Don't Rebound (Part II)

2011-06-17T14:27:00.000-04:00

The ultimate goal of the Non-Rebounding-period is to get ready for a successful relationship
.
SUCCESSFUL relationship,SUCCESSFUL relationship, SUCCESSFUL relationship.

Therefore it is very important to manage this period with a lot of care and precaution.
After all the crying, the cussing and the wondering are done, you'll get into, irrespective of your will, a reassessing state of mind where you'll be constantly playing back the film of the inglorious bastard or "bastardista" who has dared to hurt you. Although you'll be tempted to rerun different scenarios in your head, try not to and instead focus on determining the root cause of the crash. Why has s/he cheated? What led him/her to that? Bad financial habits? Inappropriate phone calls? Inappropriate requests? Flawed foundation in the relationship? (I will expand on this topic in a different post), for now remember this: "An inappropriate request reveals an inappropriate person" (Dr. Mike Murdock). Get to the root cause of the damages, do NOT excuse any of his/her behavior.
Then answer this question honestly: what part did you play in the fall out of your relationship? Did you close an eye on "little" things that were going on? Did you bury your head in the sand and thought it would go away? Did you cheat either in this or a past relationship and now karma has caught up with you? As a christian did you infringe any covenant law? In other words, have you had sex before marriage or maybe you you thought it was ok since you were planning on getting married? It is capital that you answer those question with a sincere heart and write down your answer if you can.

Finally, review them with your board of trustees, the people who keep you accountable and who will not hesitate to reprimand you [in love] when you're [in the] wrong. In reviewing with them, confess, repent and ask for forgiveness to God first then to whom appropriate starting with yourself. Forgive yourself for being stupid enough to trust him/her, forgive yourself for making bad choices because of him/her, forgive yourself for setting yourself up for failure. Forgive, forgive and forgive.

I remember when I went through my "1929 GREAT emotional crisis". My trustees were there for me, telling me I had to let go and forgive, praying for and with me. I didn't want to hear anything about forgiveness, although I knew it was the sine qua non condition for total and complete restoration. But then, God in his almighty love started to move within me, reminding of my peccadilloes that were disqualifying me of his mercy, reminding of how much in LOVE He was still with me and that He has not given up on me. I felt so convicted that I knew I had no choice than to truly, really, verily forgive myself for not trusting God with my choices, then my offenders. It took a long time, but I eventually got there. I can't describe the feeling of relief I had. One has to go through and experience it to understand.

Got Hurt? Don't Rebound (Part I)

2011-06-04T18:35:00.000-04:00

Got hurt? Don't rebound. Consider the following before you decide otherwise.
- You're wrapping yourself in a bubble: the bubble keeps you from facing the naked situation: the hurt, the pain, the rejection and the disappointment. Regardless of the cause of the separation from the already dead or dying relationship, it's important to take a step back to consider the damages, damages to your person and to the kids (if there are any involved). Mourn and cry all the tears that your lachrymal gland can afford. If you're the tough kind and would rather talk, then call your board of trustees, lament, rant and whine all you can. This is the period of your life when you're allowed to express your anger, your disillusionment and your failure. Even after that is done, you're still not ready to see someone, you're not ready to date nor to move on. If you do, then
- you're not different from the spider that ensnares its prey, sucks the blood out of it and leaves the carcass hanging. You could be meeting Mr. Right but it won't just be Mr. Right-Now. And what would start as an idyllic connection will undoubtedly expire with an acrid after taste. I remember Clementine who, after the most calamitous heartbreak, rekindled an old flame. It went from steam to hot, then hot to cold in a span of six months. Love yous and miss yous did not wait long to be replaced with yelling and fighting and suspecting. It went from flame to damn. Today, they're not even speaking terms.
- The bubble will eventually burst leaving you in a worse state than the beginning. At this stage, the repressed feelings of affliction and emotional damage, buried under the anticipation of a deeper, not-similar-to-the-last romance resurface. You have no chance to escape, you must confront them and kick'em away or as most of us do, bottle them up and throw the bottle in the river with the hope it'll reach shore at NotInmyHeartTown. That been said, how do you practically do? Stay Tuned for part II

Tresor De Beaute

Recognize The Season In Your Life

2011-05-11T14:17:00.000-04:00

It's important to identify the seasons in our lives. As the Wise said,

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:
2 a time to be born and a time to die,

   a time to plant and a time to uproot,

3 a time to kill and a time to heal,

   a time to tear down and a time to build,

4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,

   a time to mourn and a time to dance,

5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,

   a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,

6 a time to search and a time to give up,

   a time to keep and a time to throw away,

7 a time to tear and a time to mend,

   a time to be silent and a time to speak,

8 a time to love and a time to hate,

   a time for war and a time for peace.

     Have you noticed the last verse? "a time to love and a time to hate", It is assumed that a Christian must love everybody friends, frenemies and enemies included. But what about the hate part of it? Does that mean that a Christian can be hateful? And look at this one "a time to kill and a time to heal", wow!! Can a Christian kill or be killed by another one? Literally or metaphorically? I think so but this debate will be for another time.

     Today I'd like to use this opportunity to address my fellow Christ Lovers on celebrating the good things in our lives. It is said that one recognizes his/her friends during hard times but I must add, one recognizes his/her frenemies during good times. A friend will be beside you at all times, good and bad. A frenemy will pretend but can only pretend for so long.
This season, I'm celebrating:
- my family: The one I came from, the one I got into and the one I formed
- my territory: plainly earthly possessions that I know I'll leave behind once the Lord decides to come back or take me to him.
- my job: This simple statement from a fellow worker really got me "you know, it took me 20 years to get where you are now." For the record, I just hit year 5 in my career.
- investments: According to the scripture, banks are the last place money should stay especially if one expects any return. I'm just grateful that God has opened a door for a better and greater harvest.
- my upcoming big O entrance into my 3rd decade. This shall be a decade like any other I've ever lived. Lots of growth to anticipate, family growth, ministry growth and investments growth.
- Last but not least: Victory over unforgiveness and shadenfreude. God knows how I've struggled with these. Can someone sing with me "I am delivered, Thank You Lord... My God has saved me, Thank you Lord..."

     For my fellow African brothers and sisters, to declare out loud the blessings of the Lord is a concept hard to assimilate given that most of us were brought up in suspicion of one another. This culture of mistrust is so ingrained in our core that even when you greet someone with a "How are you?" you'll undoubtedly get back one of the following " ha I'm there" [with a shrug] aka nothing much or "we push and we put the wedge" (and this even if the person has just won the lottery).

     How would one know that the Lord has done great things in our lives if we can't even acknowledge it? How will we develop a thankful heart when we can't give a shout to the author of all Goodness?

This is a season of celebration for me, I shall not pass it up and I'm inviting you to do the same.

Little Victories Celebrated: What's your Hannah Story?

2011-04-19T09:40:00.000-04:00

     I got an A in my advance financial class!!(Graduate Level). A three page information sheet, from which 6 precious data had to be extracted just for assignment number 1. Task tackled in a span of 3 and half hours.
Anyone who has taken graduate level courses can testify that they're not hard but just time consuming, very time consuming.
     So that's exactly what they were doing to me, taking my time away, my quality time, my me time, my family time and sometimes my God time, so I complained to my Father, the One whose footstool is the earth and the throne the heaven. I told Him "I love spending time with you but I don't have enough of it, my classes are taking it away. I promise to spend 10 min quality time during the day [that's in addition to our morning devotional], if you allow me to spend less time studying, understanding my lessons and completing my projects." The idea was to be able to do everything I'm supposed to do without sacrificing on anything.
    And it all came from an important teaching that I've decided to put into practice: to put God first in everything I do or as the bible says "Seek Ye first the kingdom of God...". Before I was never sure what it truly meant to put God first. Was it to go to church first? Was it to apply all the 10 commandments first? Was it to make sure all the poor are fed first? My confusion was dissipated after one conversation. I had the privilege to sit down with a prominent Man of God and here's a paraphrase of what he said: Hannah was barren and pleaded with God for many years but it's only until she said to God "LORD Almighty, if you will only look on your servant’s misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the LORD for all the days of his life, and no razor will ever be used on his head." In that statement, God had found his interest, so to speak and granted Hannah her request. The man of God went on saying, everytime we make a request in prayer with faith, always ask yourself "What's in it for God?" And I'm adding, when you can honestly answer that question, not one of your prayers will ever go unanswered.
   I asked God for more time to spend with him if I could spend less time studying and completing my projects, I got an A and my quality time was upgraded. That's my Hannah story and I'm sticking to it, what's yours?

To Celebrate or Not To Celebrate?

2011-04-07T09:43:00.002-04:00

As this year will mark a milestone in my life, I was wondering if I should celebrate it or not. Although God does not move according to our age but according to the season in our lives, It just happened that this year is coinciding with a new season in my life and it calls for celebration. Tresor De Beaute is reaching her "time for ministry" by TURNING 30. Now this celebration will just be one too many for me. However, after running this idea by one of my biggest fans, I was convinced to definitely throw myself a party. Besides, as Dr Mike Murdock says "Schedule your pleasure because pain will schedule itself", which is nothing but a modern contemporary version of "However many years anyone may live, let them enjoy them all. But let them remember the days of darkness, for there will be many", my favorite biblical passage for celebration. Pain will definitely schedule itself at your expense, and it will often come from the most unlikely source. So this is a season of joy, dance and laughter, a season of happiness and I will rejoice in it.

My ideal party would be to invite the not-have, people who can't invite me back nevertheless people with a heart of celebration and thanksgiving towards the Creator. I don't know if I can pull this off this year, maybe it'll be for another season. So for now, I'll probably invite over my new neighbors, form some new connections and for that I need ideas and I'm calling on you. What kind of party should I throw? I'm looking for ideas, original good-moral, godly ideas. Please leave your comments here or if you're a Facebook friends, inbox me.

Tresorly yours,
Tresor De Beaute

Should you forgive and forget? Three Essential and Practical Principles For a Butterflying Life

2011-03-17T12:58:00.001-04:00

Not long ago, I had the pleasure to rekindle a friendship with a long lost acquaintance. After the glass was broken, the conversation immediately veered towards the bolt of our disconnection from each other. The subject of forgiveness was incontrovertibly addressed. We stomped on the question of how to forgive and forget? As memories unrestlessly bring back forth the feeling of pain, betrayal and idiosyncrasy of our own being, the sensation or assurance of forgiveness are quickly dissipated. Thence, I came up with a well formulated theory which at times, extirpate my pats on my back.

Forgiveness is progressive: It takes times. The decision to forgive must instant, but forgiveness itself is gradual. It's positive function of time. If I had to express it mathematical term, it would be: f(forgiveness)= pt +C(forgiveness)t where p = person (you as a person); t = time; C=Christ. The reason I introduce Christ is that, one can't really talk of forgiveness without going to the source. Same goes for Love, Joy, Hope, Happiness...all these necessary ingredients that make a tasteful and flavorful life.
You can forgive but you can't forget: Even God does not allow us to forget our own sins, how are we supposed to do the same for others? Aren't we supposed to love our neighbor like ourselves? Not only that, the bible instructs to be simple like a dove but prudent like a snake. Affording the luxury to forget wrongdoings only condemns us to either repeat them or get ourselves ensnared once again into the same vicious circle.
Still can't forgive? Think about this: the wrongdoer, by some miraculous means, repents and makes peace with God...maybe not with you, but certainly with God and God being God forgives him/her. Then Jesus decides to come back, takes the wrongdoer with Him and leaves you behind. Now my question is this: Why would you take the risk to jeopardize your salvation for some stupid act that a senseless person has committed against you?

It's capital that we forgive. Unforgivingness does not hold a death sentence over the wrongdoer's head but does hold it over our own and force God to condemn us. Forgiveness, on the other hand, is the only digital fingerprint that the key of our liberation will recognize to unlock the door of our own captivity. Forgiveness is not a feeling, it's an act that starts with a decision. As Dr. Mike Murdock says, " Forgiveness ...Does Not Restore Trust. #Forgiveness...Is an Invitation To Rebuild Credibility. Therefore, don't sweat over it if the wrongdoer can no longer occupy the place that he or she once had. Just do your part, forgive and forgive verily then move on with your life.

Hair Journey: Just like Samson

2011-03-07T13:39:00.001-05:00

     I often liken myself to Samson when I think about my hair journey. He was unmistakably very muscular with the most beautiful mane on his head and on top of his game when his heart interest, the apple of his eyes, decided to strike a deal with her peeps to subdue him. I'm/have been in no way as muscular as Samson. But my hair had been long, longer than the average length that my people usually carry until I decided to compromise it.
     Just like Samson, I delivered myself into the hands of my enemies by setting myself up to failure, thinking I'll be fine. Just like Samson, I happened to entrust the best of me to the worst around me.
How many of you know you're never fine when you do the exact opposite of what you know is right?
There are always precursive signs leading to the ultimate downfall. In this hair scenario, it was the use of abusive substance commonly called "creamy crack", followed by bad maintenance. How can one expect to maintain healthy hair when the washing, conditioning happens once a month? How can one expect to maintain long hair when the scalp is under constant stress from tight braiding and other forms of hairdo?
     The consequences of a betrayal, like the one Samson was victim of, can often lead into a state of hair and sight loss. In fact, the sight loss is just the permanent scar, the physical constant reminder of your ordeal whereas the hair loss is the direct effect of the acts of Judah.
     However, as time goes by, the strength that had left you, the hair you had lost, unbeknownst to you, starts growing back. And one day, you notice that the perfect TWA you were rocking now stands imperfectly on your head. The quick washes&gos are no longer that quick. Until you realize that something has changed, you can easily do a different style.

Hence I was pleasantly surprised to see the length of my hair exactly 3 months after my second big chop. Just like Samson, the favor of the Lord has returned. He is looking again at me, you with mercy. Although we all know what was Samson fate, my own is still unfolding. And I'm feverishly anticipating the ultimate result.

Happy And Joyful New Year --2011

2011-01-20T16:20:00.001-05:00

I just wanted to drop a note here for my readers to wish you a fantastic happy new year!!.
I'm back and totally unjetlagged and I'm looking forward to share with you lots of stuffs throughout this new year. Big challenges ahead aside the ones already mentioned in previous posts.
Again Happy Joyful Fantastic New year
...And stay tuned!!

Yours faithfully,

Tresor De Beaute

2011 Project 3 Revealed

2010-12-20T15:27:00.000-05:00

     Hello Friends and Non-friends,
     This is going to be the last post for year 2010. It has been a wonderful awesome year on my end. God's willing, I will take some time in 2011, to look back and reflect with you into my 2010 journey. Increase and growth at all levels, physically: I went from a size 2 to size 4 (to my mom's delight) and in my own terms I went from bony to fleshy; financially: personal GDP of 2%, not a lot (we can blame that on the recession), and spiritually: it was an exponential growth, if I had to write a mathematical function it'd be: f(x) = e^x where x is a real number.
     Well I'm here to reveal to you project #3: TDB is going to rehab, she's voluntarily committing herself to detox against...Soap Operas for 3 weeks!!...That's all she can guarantee for now. How is she planning on accomplishing this? First, by going on vacation to a much warmer place, definitely warmer than the sunshine state. I'll take this opportunity to request prayer for protection and a safe trip [Thank you.]
Of course there's much more to this trip than rehab. God's willing, I'll share tidbits of it with you but not until I'm back. On this note, I wish you all a wonderful, merriful Merry Christmas [the time of the year where we act the way we should the rest of the year~lifeline production], and don't leave out the reason of this season out of your season.

Merry Xmas and see you next year

Stay Tuned, Stay Beautiful, Stay Christmas-y.
Tresor De Beaute (TDB).

Was It Too Late? A True Story of A Dying Man

2010-12-10T12:39:00.001-05:00

It was about 7:45 am and I was getting ready for work when my phone rang: "Allo?"
"Remember Ruben, my roommate? He's dead" blurted the voice on the phone. "Yes I remember him, what happened?".
I had visited this family in 3 different occasions, and have met Ruben during one of those. He was this big chubby and very private person. Aside the time, we got introduced, the only other time I heard Ruben make some noise was one morning during prayer time and Ruben knocked on our wall to make us understand that we were loud.
The day before he passed away, Ruben seemed a little more agitated than usual. He asked for Mr Price and was told that Mr Price had traveled for work and ministry and wouldn't be back until the new year. So he asked for Attorney Lawrence who also works in ministry but on that day was attending a church event. Meanwhile, Ruben was getting more restless, looking at his watch and inquiring about Att.Lawrence whereabouts, wondering when he'd be back, pacing around the house. At one point in time, Zelly noticing his restlessness, inquired about his wellbeing, to which he replied he was fine and that people were coming to pick him up and he needed to speak with Att. Lawrence. He then went on asking about Jesus to Zelly: "How do you know Jesus is the answer? How do you get saved?" She explained to him "Jesus died on the cross for us, you just have to believe and ask him to forgive your sins." Then once again he asked for Att. Lawrence. Several phone calls and sms could not get him back at home until very late at night.
The following day, as Att Lawrence, was wondering about Ruben's request to speak with him, he went into his bedroom, only to discover him bent on his knees, head on the floor, dead.
Was he praying when those "people came to get him"? Did he receive the Only one who can guarantee Peace? Did he accept Jesus in his heart as Lord and Savior? It is impossible to know for sure.

This will certainly sound like a "whole bunch of garbage" for some and for others just another reason, to despise Christianity or roll their eyes given that Christians nowadays are nothing but examples of backstabbing, jealousy, adulterous closeted gays and lesbians and more. Nevertheless, each one of us is still responsible for our own salvation. Buying a bad cantaloupe from a grocery store doesn't mean that all cantaloupes on the market are bad. To associate with Christians who make bad choices doesn't invalidate the existence of the real good ones that are still out there nor does it invalidate the existence of the Real Good God who longs for a personal relationship with each one of us, wants to share his treasures with us, and above all wants us to live a quality life beyond what we can imagine. The choice is left with us.

Stay Tuned, Stay Beautiful, Choose Well
Tresor De Beaute

Whatever people think of you will never change your destiny. However what you think of other people may change it.-- R.W.

2011 Project 2 Revealed

2010-11-29T20:43:00.000-05:00

     TDB's next project could be quite a challenge if there's a lack of interest, determination and discipline: Read the Bible in ONE YEAR, the entire bible not just snippets of familiar stories we've heard in church. What makes this project more exciting is the fact that I'll be reading the bible for the first time in English. For the life of me, I still do not comprehend how I've managed to rob myself from that experience. Now, don't misunderstand me, I'm not saying that for the ten years I've been in this country I've not read my bible, I'm saying I've not read it in its entirety in English, whereas I've read it in French about 12 times cover to cover, and the New Testament several times both in French and English.


     So why is it important to read and know the bible? Isn't it the Pastor's job to read it and preach it to us?

Be an intellectually curious Christian. Read the bible just because! Be curious about it. Don't let some preacher masticate it for you to swallow and this brings me to the next point.
Take responsibility for your own salvation. Your pastor, priest, or Christian friend is NOT responsible for it, you are. Become familiar with the stories and parables. Examine it every time you're in church or when listening to predications to see if what the preacher says it's true. So many of us Christians are just plain gullible, believing all kinds of things. Let's start acting like the Berean who would examine the Scripture everyday to see if what Paul said was true*. This is Paul we're talking about, the guy whose simple touch would heal, his words could make go blind or walk again if you were crippled. Some today would've called him a charlatan. The Berean weren't impressed. They cared about the TRUTH. So they checked the Scripture everyday.
Be loaded with answers. Put yourself in a position where you can answer any question about your beliefs. What is salvation? How do you know heaven or hell are real?
If possible, enroll a family member, a friend or a close one. Be cheer leader for each other, encouraging one another.
Why should we read the bible at all? [it's funny as I'm writing this very sentence, Barbara Walters's Special Edition is on and she's asking our President Barack Obama if he reads the bible to which he responds "Yes, everyday.".So this could be your motivation.] This is the answer a grand-father gave to his grand child as he was putting charcoal in a basket. He asked the child to carry the basket down to the river and to bring him back some water in it. After several attempts, the kid feeling discouraged wanted to stop. At his grandfather nodding, he looked at the basket and noticed something different about it. It was CLEAN. It has gone from dirty to clean. And the grandfather said: "my son, it's the same thing that happens when you read the bible,... your soul changes."

I hope this gives you enough incentives to embark in this journey with me. As stated earlier this project, it requires discipline, and who says discipline, says schedule, who says schedule says calendar. Here is a remarkable online resource that dissects the entire bible into portions scheduled on each day of the year. It gives the choice to read it beginning to end, chronologically, historically, new then old, or old then new. It lists all the different versions and main languages. Last but not least it gives you the choices to start either on the 1st or the 15th of a month. Personally, I anticipate starting on the 15th of January 2011, using the New/Old method. I used to read it beginning to end but after a while about half way into the OT, I would feel "hungry" for the NT.

How to do this practically? Some do's and don'ts

Schedule it on your calendar. I use Google Calendar and I've set it to send me reminders to my cell phone. If you decide to choose the old/new or new/old method, you can schedule the new in the morning and the old in the middle of the day.
If you have a smartphone, download a version of the bible on it. During your downtime.
Don't, no let me rephrase that, NEVER schedule your bible reading before bed time.
Don't beat yourself up if you skip a day, just take it as a challenge to be more disciplined.
Don't use it as a fetish. I remember someone once told me that they would always travel with a bible in their bags for protection. The person did not read, did not care about its instructions, let alone honor the God it talks about.

As the first 2011 project targets the body, this one targets the soul. What's left is the spirit. So stay tuned as there is more to come.

*Acts 17:11

Stay Tuned, Stay Beautiful, Stay an Intellectually Curious Christian
Tresor De Beaute

http://twitter.com/TresorDeBeaute

Whatever people think of you will never change your destiny. However what you think of other people will change it.-- R.W.

2011 Project 1 Revealed

2010-11-23T14:22:00.000-05:00

For those of you who haven't guessed it yet from the new profile/background pictures, TDB is going Naptural. Yes you read it right NAPTURAL as in Nappy Natural :). She has decided to become a "Nazarite" of some sort. Let me explain, back in the days, and I mean waaayy back in the days, the hebrews/jews had this tradition of dedicating themselves to God, it was called the Nazirite vow: The vow was taken by individuals who had voluntarily dedicated themselves to God. The vow is a decision, action, and desire on the part of people whose desire is to yield themselves to God completely [http://www.gotquestions.org/Nazirite-vow.html].
The individuals had to abstain from a certain number of things during their consecration period. As for me, all I have to abstain from is the "creamy crack"/perm. However this resolution to go back natural is more than forgoing "crack" altogether, it's a physical manifestation of my inner metamorphosis. It's a rebirth, a return to "the things I did at first"*. I started perming my hair about ten years ago, a few months before I immigrated in this country. And with each crack session, my hair started growing thin, breaking and finally got damaged, nothing but a simple reflection of what was happening in the inside. So many bad things happen inside of us all, bad thoughts, bad desires, impatience, one compromise after another, envy, jealousy...etc. We live by them, we sleep by them and some even die by them. It's time to STOP and to "Consider how far you have fallen! Repent (change the inner man to meet God's will) and do the things you did at first [do the works you did previously when first you knew the Lord]"*. NO more excuses, NO more apologies, no more postponing. Three Simple steps:

I did the Big Chop (BC), I removed all the processed and damaged hair [I got rid of all the toxic things and people of my entourage].
I shampoo and condition my hair once a week and the rest of the time I just moisturize it. [I go to church once a week and the rest of the time I study, read and listen]
I bought products to help me achieve my goal of new long healthy hair. [I surround myself with people who share the same beliefs as I do, who help me fulfill my Nazirite vow. I stay vigilant of who to admit in my inner circle as it is not everyone around you who have your best interest at heart]

And the results so far are just...life changing. Check for yourself:

For more: click on the link below (I believe you have to be logged into facebook to see them all):
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=31750982&l=3d26331e22&id=1435775079

Don't forget to follow me on twitter for more thoughts, for more musings:
http://twitter.com/TresorDeBeaute

*Rev 2:5 amplified version

Stay Tuned, Stay Beautiful, Stay Naptural
Tresor de Beaute (TDB)

Whatever people think of you will never change your destiny. However what you think of other people will change it.-- R.W.

Preparation Projects

2010-11-17T14:15:00.001-05:00

As the new year is approaching Tresor De Beaute is preparing herself for an upcoming and very important trip, there will be some changes around her blog. Starting with the new background design. She'll be experimenting before settling. Please send in your comments and recommendations if any. Before finishing this post, I peaked into my inbox and found this comment [in French]: Humm c'est toujours la nouvelle annee la que tu prepares comme ca...Hummm Is that the new year that you're still preparing like that?? So commentator, there you have your answer.
Tresor will also be revealing what she will be up to for the upcoming year. Lots of exciting news and projects with the central theme: Discipline. So please, stay tuned and enjoy the ride with me.

Stay Tuned, Stay Beautiful, Stay Prepared ;)
Tresor De Beaute

Prepare Yourself for 2011--Part 3

2010-11-12T23:41:00.001-05:00

     This is the last series of my three-parter "Prepare Yourself for 2011". And this post will elaborate on one crucial step that you can apply to successfully prepare for the new year ahead of you: Retrospective.
     To retrospect is to look back at past events. The goal is to look back with the most possible objective mind, marking pluses on great things accomplished and minuses on not so great things.
     Then beside those plus signs, list the things or persons that contributed to the success of your accomplishments. Think about the strategies and guidelines you had to put in place to ride this successful operation or plan of yours and re-implement them for your 2011 plans. Thank the people who were there for you.
     Do the same for the minus signs. Mark down those inglorious moments that sparked mishaps and groaning unintelligible sounds. Learn from your mistakes and other people experience, as Dr Murdock says "Some Learn Best Through...The Rose of Mentorship. Some Learn Best From...The Thorns of Experience". And It's funny how at times, "the older the wiser" doesn't always apply to the entire population but rather to a sample. So careful who you listen to, who you believe in and who you rely on.
     And last but not least, if you haven't done this before, then do it now. Be thankful to God then reward yourself for each one of your successes. Lament your failures but don't give up and ask your Creator for help.
That said, my job here is done. I gotta go prepare myself for some awesomeness for year 2011.

As you're fully and happily living your life, make sure the present you're living will not be the past you'll regret in the future --TresorDeBeaute

Prepare Yourself for 2011--Part 2

2010-11-08T12:06:00.000-05:00

You have to meet certain conditions in order to prepare for a new year, a new job or a new opportunity. Actually there's only one condition you have to meet: you have to be healthy: healthy in your body and healthy in your mind. I will emphasize mostly on how missing the latter requirement can have many unintended consequences. Most women (I'm not sure about men) in their 20s and 30s get sick in their mind at the wake of an emotional disturbance, either a breakup or a relationship gone south. Usually we women like to get ourselves into projects, just to distract us from the fact that we just wiped out an acute sentimental failure. And this behavior is ingrained into the belief that "the cure to a man is to get another man". Hence we get ourselves into rebounds, going from one rebound to another. So ladies, if you're in this situation, your project/resolution or plan for 2011 is to take time to heal first, face the pain, the hurt and the rejection meanwhile remembering that "Rejection is the proof someone couldn't master you. It's the reaction of the weak to your difference." [DrMM]. Review your morals, review your standards. I know we live in an age of "I'll figure it on my own", the reality is if your car has a problem, you bring it to the mechanic or better to the manufacturer especially if still under warranty.

Four years ago, I had the best looking convertible in my neighborhood, then the transmission went bad, I brought it to the manufacturer who estimated the repair cost to about $4000.00 (four thousands dollars). The price to pay was too high, I was still a student with a job barely allowing to pay all my bills and my tuition. So I found this mechanic who promised to fix the car for half the price. The mechanic ended up damaging the car [which not only did I lose but paid even more money in the process] by replacing the bad transmission with a different, non matching transmission.
We do the same thing to ourselves when trying to cure our man disease with another man, when looking for "projects" to distract ourselves from the situation at hand. If your mind, your soul or your spirit has a problem, bring it to The Soul-maker, they all have a lifetime warranty, a prepaid liability sealed at Golgotha two thousands years ago. To prepare yourself for 2011, you have to be HEALTHY first.
I've tried it, it worked, why couldn't it for you?

Stay Tuned, Stay Beautiful, Stay Healthy
Tresor De Beaute

"Your Future Is Decided By Who You Choose To Believe" -- DrMM

Prepare Yourself for 2011

2010-10-24T22:36:00.001-04:00

2011 is around the corner and I've been working on my "resolution" list since last month. I really don't like the word "resolution", it just makes sound like one more thing that is NOT going to get done. I prefer "Project" or "Plans". It's a huge one in the sense that it'll impact all the pillars of my life: spiritually, emotionally and physically. And although I'll be revealing bit by bit some of my projects, the purpose of this post is establish some guidance that'll be necessary to actually check the complete box at the end of the year 2011.

Conception: At this point in time, we should have already dreamed up of something to accomplish in year 2011. If not, it's not too late. Let's get to work! eg: is it losing weight? Oh no forget about it! I'm not in the weight losing business. Is it doing sport more regularly? Or reading a couple of books?
Write down your goals along with a clear expectation of the end result. It will help as a motivational tool. There are some people who spend their time writing wonderful things about themselves to distract them from the horrors they cause around them. A way for them to remind themselves they're not so bad as a person. So write down those goals and especially the effects of the end result on you as a person. Will it rise your self-esteem? Will it bring more joy or satisfaction? Will it better someone else?
This is the most critical step, 60% of your success is encapsulated in it: Preparation. Prepare yourself. Speak with people who have already reached the same realization you'd like to see happen for yourself by end 2011. If you don't know anybody directly, look online, browse some videos and personal testimonies. For myself, I'm planning on going totally rogue with my physical appearance. And I'm doing exactly the above. It helps with mental preparation, self-motivation and determination.
.Elaborate your execution plan. Step 1, 2, 3...each one with the expected end result, some type of progression sheet.
Last but not least, cook all that in prayer. There's no better supporter or cheerleader than God. He'll guide you in distinguishing what's good, agreeable and perfect for you. By trusting Him, with all your heart and leaning not on your own understanding, acknowledging Him in all your ways, He will make your paths straight*. After all, you don't know what may happen along the way, good or bad, you can be certain He'll be able to hold your hands through it all.

*Proverbs 3:5-6

Stay Tuned, Stay Blessed, Stay Prepared for 2011.
Tresor De Beaute

Those who were successful around us were not aliens. Whatever their endurance, there were like us. The difference is that in the place of fear, they had a different feeling, their trust in God. Rev R.W.

How to Right Your Wrong: Why David Was Still a Man After God's Heart After His Double Criminal Act

2010-10-19T12:13:00.000-04:00

     I often hear Christians [and by Christians I mean Children of God in Christ Jesus] say "The blood of Jesus covers all this (and by "this", they mean, their "unchristian" way of living) even God still considered David the man after his own heart after his adultery coupled with murder."
     For the people who are not familiar with the story, David was the king of Israel who fell in adultery with another man's wife, got her pregnant, then plotted to get her husband killed at war to marry her. Oh Boy, God was DISGUSTED, He was sooo PISSED, he decided to take away his son's life (progeny from David's adulterous relationship). But yet, when referring to David, He still called him "The man's after his own heart."
     It's no secret what David did to deserve such an honor, he did the one thing that eludes so many Christians nowadays: Repentance. He promptly repented as soon as his fault was pointed to him. He repented in front of Nathan the Prophet, he repented to his wife Bathsheba [Although, the bible does say that specifically, one has to believe that it happened as there's nothing as painful for a mother as to lose her own child. And David knew it was his fault the LORD struck their son*.] and I can bet that if Uriah was still alive, he would have begged for his forgiveness as well. Do Christian believers still behave like that today? Most of us believe that "dealing with God" alone is enough...Well it is but if and only your sin affects you and only you. When other people are involved, we must take the extra biblical step that consists into leaving our offering at the altar, going and being reconciled to our brother or sister**. As good and loving and forgiving our God is, He is Righteous and one can not pretend to love God and reject his righteousness. God was so unpleased with David's behavior that he didn't even recognize or approve of his marriage to Bathsheba [still referring to her as "Uriah's wife"***] until after he had repented, nine verses down***** "Then David comforted his wife Bathsheba, and he went to her and lay with her. She gave birth to a son, and they named him Solomon. The LORD loved him."
     One of my favorite preachers always says that "God never gave the Law for us to follow it rather to expose our shortcomings." that's why it was necessary for Christ to die for us to reconcile us to God our Father. David recognized his iniquity, confessed, and turned away from it. God punished his sin, but loved him more and restored him.
     We're all bound to go astray from God, whether is by getting involved with the wrong people, or by slandering a fellow brother/sister, or by just ignoring the good we're supposed to do. The question is: what do we do when we realize we did wrong? Do we justify our ways or do we take a page out of David's book?

* (2Sam12:15)
** [Matt5:23]
*** (2Sam12:15)]
***** (2Sam12:24)

Stay Tuned, Stay Blessed, Stay Repentant
Tresor De Beaute

Stuffs I Read on Twitter This Week

2010-10-18T02:23:00.000-04:00

If you fail in your life, it will be because of a person you chose to dishonor. If you succeed it will be because of a person you decided to honor.

Affection is not Proof of Trustworthiness. Affection Is A Reaction...Or A Diversion.

My Clock...Does Not Assess My Progress. My Completions...Assess My Progress

Friends of friends are not always friends

What Are The REWARDS of A Friendship With YOU? ..Listener? ..Encourager? ..Confidentiality? ..Energy?

Your Future Is Approaching at The Speed Of Your Decisions.

You Don't Really Know Someone...Until You: ..Hire Them ..Fire Them ..Marry Them ..Tell Them "No."

Whatever people think of you will never change your destiny. However what you think of other people may change it.-- R.W.

Uncover Your Financial Woes

2010-10-06T15:47:00.002-04:00

It's known that divorce or death of a partner have brought financial cataclysm for the abandoned party especially when the latter is a woman.

     I read this story a long time ago about a woman who after her husband's funeral, discovered that he had racked up debt to his neck and was leaving her and the kids in charge of paying them off. He had depleted their retirement savings in an unsuccessful attempt to pay off his dues.
     This one is about a woman who asked her spouse how much school loans he had accumulated and he replied "about 10k", nevertheless at the next mail delivery, she checked the one that came from the loan institution just to found out that the loan was just a couple of bricks short of 40k.
     Another one is about this man who decided to defer his federal income tax withholdings saying he'd rather save it on his own before repaying during tax season. At his wife insistence, they filed jointly to save on taxes. And of course they had to take a hit because of the husband's delinquency on back taxes.

     All these stories illustrated one concept: Love does not exempt control. A couple must establish a system of checks and balances that equilibrates the financial dynamism of their partnership. Although one spouse may have amazing financial skills, the other should definitely keep a copy and have an understanding of the household income statement and balance sheet. The income statement will give you summary of revenues, such as your salary plus any other source of revenues, and expenses of your household such as bills paid, shopping, entertainment or miscellaneous expenses...etc and will tell you if you're saving or living above your means. Whereas the balance sheet would show you at a point in time all your assets (e.g. house, investments, 401k...etc), debts (mortgages, loans, credit cards...etc) and Equity (e.g. home equity) you may have. In software engineering, even the most canny developer has his code tested by a quality team. The best writer has his posts, articles or books proofread to detect any type of errors. Even the best companies in their domains have a quality control team, why shouldn't a couple apply the same principles to their finances, this very domain of their lives that affect them?
     This concept has been around for ages even before Christ's birth, and has been recorded by the wisest man: King Solomon. King Solomon has been attributed authorship of the book of Proverbs (my favorite) in the Bible. The last chapter is often titled "The Virtuous Woman" and it talks about the qualities such a woman has:
     - "Her husband has full confidence in her". Trust is a two way street. You can't break someone trust and still expect them to trust. A couple must be able to trust each other with their finances according to the guidelines they have set for themselves.
     - "out of her earnings she plants a vineyard". A woman must have earning, income, revenue.
   - "She sees that her trading is profitable". Here's that word again, PROFIT or SAVINGS. I talked earlier about the income statement which is the financial statement that shows profit or loss. In order to determine that her trading is profitable, a woman must understand and keep track of her household entries and outings/expenditures.
   - "Her children arise and call her blessed"--I just don't buy in the theory of "Stay-at-home" mom, according to which a woman makes a choice to stay home to "take care" of her kids. This is definitely a whole new topic that I'll have to discuss later. However, I would like to add this, staying-at-home is the straight and surest road to depression. Just read the stories and see for yourself.
     There are many more rules and precepts that can be extracted from Proverbs thirty one and none of them
exempt the man from his responsibilities as a husband. I just wanted to keep the focus on women as they're the ones always suffering financially after the divorce or the death of their spouse. The above concept are just preventable measures to empower mostly married women.
     Love does not and should NOT exempt control. As finances and adultery are running amok among the top reasons for divorce, it is very important for couples to be transparent with their finances with one another, and to find a common platform that would allow them to keep healthy books while not suffocating or feeling suffocated by their spouse.

Stay tuned, Stay bold, Prevent yourself from financial woes
Tresor De beaute

Whatever people think of you will never change your destiny. However what you think of other people may change it.-- R.W.

Got bad debt? Write it off !!

2010-10-01T15:18:00.001-04:00

     Bernie Madoff proved us that crooks are not just the ones with a mask on their heads and a gun on their hands. They're not just the ones I used to see in Cameroon at Mokolo market, naked and harshly flagellated resultant of popular justice. Like Madoff, they can dress well, smell good, greet us during meeting, be polite and they can also be our Exs. They're basically any people that owes you money, know very well they owe you the money but yet refuse to pay you back.
     Once upon a time I had a Madoff, he refused to pay me back and then justified his behavior by saying he had offered a coat and a back pack to a relative of mine and some other things. While men boast about buying luxurious cars and house to their wives or significant others, he was boasting about a raincoat and a bag which together were worth less than a hundred bucks. Another one, someone else's Madoff, just didn't bother to acquit himself from his debt. Readers, anytime a Man (man and woman alike) prides himself of his amoral deeds, know that there's more to hope from a dead cat than him. For all your Madoff(es), write them off as bad debt.
     Investopedia defines a bad debt as one that is not collectible and therefore worthless to the creditor. Bad debt is usually a product of the debtor going into bankruptcy. Therefore, declare your Madoff(es) rationally bankrupt and intellectually corrupt, then "forgive the bastard and move on" wrote a mother warrior or as P.A. Hamilton often says "Let bygones be bygones" and let them battle with their own conscience if they still have one alive. After all your peace is PRICELESS.

Stay Tuned, Stay Bold, Say Goodbye n Good Luck to your Madoff(es)

Whatever people think of you will never change your destiny.

However what you think of other people may change it.-- R.W.

Always Remind Me

2010-09-28T16:12:00.001-04:00

Always remind me of your mercy on me
So I may show the same mercy unto others
Always remind me of where I had fallen
So I may not think I'm better than others
Always remind me of your goodness towards me
So I may show the same goodness towards others
Always remind me of what you have suffered because of me
So I may remember that life at times is unfair
Always remind me of the dirt I used to be
So I may keep the purity I now am
Always remind me of the gift you have given me
So I may also share it with others
Always remind me of my weaknesses and vulnerabilities
So I may always rely on your strength and invulnerabilities
Always remind of how beaten I was
So I may recall of the rewards of life based on unrighteousness and lies
Always remind me of your righteousness and truth
So I may always remember there's nothing better than to have you hover me

Stay Tuned, Stay Bold, Stay Beautiful
Tresor De Beaute

The good I tried to do Was thrown back in my face
The hurt and the pain brought tears to my eyes
But God has replaced a blessing For every tear that I've cried

The Gift of Repentance

2010-09-23T17:34:00.000-04:00

Scandals in church are as old as time: brothers killing their own brothers (Cain and Abel), kids sleeping with their dad's wife for all to see (Absolom), king sending hoi polloi to war to be killed and get their wives (King David), fellas slandering one another, the list goes on. They are still happening today, divorces, who slept with who, drugs abuse, abortion, homosexuality, pedophilia and more. And all of us at one point in time or for a time period, have stood on either side of the fence as a victim or as a perpetrator. To the victim I say, pray til your soul is totally restored, to the perpetrator I'd say, pray til the gift of repentance is given to you and your soul is totally restored. And this brings me to what I would like to talk about: The Gift of Repentance.

     The fact remains that none of us is perfect, we all have our little shenanigans: lies (white or black), bad thoughts, porn, unforgiveness, impurity, adultery, slander, self-righteousness..., thus we're condemned to hurt one another one way or the other regardless of how much we may love one another. Fortunately we all possess the ability to say: "I'm sorry" or "Forgive me" and that's called repentance. Now, what I call the Gift of Repentance is not only to say "I'm sorry" and to truly mean it but to also go one step further and renounce our ways!! Was this the case, so many partnerships, friendships, camaraderies would be healed and get stronger.
     Unfortunately, our tendency as Christian perpetrators is to do bad and to confess to God, then do bad again then confess to God. Well this works if and only if your badness is only affecting you and you alone. In the case where more than one person are involved, we must ask for forgiveness not only to God but also to all the parties involved AND renounce our ways. Sadly, we treat our badness like cocaine, we inhale it and its magic works on us. Then we tried to stop using it but we can't, we try harder but we still can't. We're hooked, we're trapped, we're addicted.
     Henceforth, we need God's grace to intervene in our favor. There are many of us who take resolution "I will no longer do this"..."This is the last time" but who for some reasons can't help themselves. To them I say please persevere for the God of the Bible will let himself found by you if you truly seek him with all your heart. We Christians have altered the word of God by saying "We won't watch, we won't pray and we won't fall into temptation" says H.W. Resenting what God says doesn't make it less true nor does misinterpreting it to our own advantage. If we don't watch and don't pray, we will fall into temptation, square and fair.

When I started my program of "Starting Over Start From Scratch", in prayer and lamentations (sometimes you have to get them tears out), I resolved to ask for forgiveness from all I knew I had purposefully offended with no harm incurred from them. To get there, I had to do some soul searching, wondering about the height from which I had fallen. Then, I had to repent and start doing the things I did at first. Sometimes, to resume doing the things we did at first, requires a change of scenery, a change of garments or even a change of friends. It requires a total disassociation with things of the past, anything that or anyone who has partaken to our downfall, otherwise history is condemned to repeat itself.
Repentance is a gift from above to the repentant. To repent does not merely mean to plead guilty to all charges, but also to renounce our ways. The latter may take more than one try, or two or even three, whatever the number may be, let's just not give up.

Stay Tuned, Stay Bod, Stay Repentant
Tresor De Beaute

Manipulation: Modern Day Witchcraft

2010-09-20T17:41:00.001-04:00

     I'm sure at some point, each one of us has been a victim of or has exercised this new age, modern day witchcraft: manipulation. Recently, back in our country, there has been a case of raw witchcraft in which a grown up human being, presumably male, was found immersed in a jar of mayo. As Africans, we're used to extreme cases scenarios of witchcraft. Hence we're raised with suspicion of certain tribes. The Bamilekes people are trained to avoid any type of alliance: acquaintance, friendship, comradeship, marriages with the Bassa'a tribe because their high involvement in witchcraft. I remember back in the days, I was thinking there weren't such in White people's countries until I crossed the Atlantic and landed here in the States.
     It's only recently during a conversation with a friend that I realized that witchcraft truly exists here although under a more subtle and more destructive form: Manipulation.
     The first place where I encountered that plague was among Christians. There was these two couples who were friends, one had more financial means than the other. The wife from the less fortunate couple would call the husband of the other couple to ask for money, lamenting of hardship, meanwhile the husband would call the wife of the more fortunate couple and do the same thing. This is an example of 3rd degree witchcraft.
We women, use this tool all the time against the men in our lives, we cry, we nag, we weep all that in an attempt to have them do something for us.
     Another instance is the one where a husband or so he called himself would tell his wife to sympathize with her friend who was going through some difficult time, would convince his wife (or so he called her) to invite the friend over for a few days, would ridiculed his wife's warning about the so called friend. Then a few months later, the wife discovered the whole conundrum was all a make up to cover the cheating ways of the husband: This is 2nd degree witchcraft.
     A last one that I think is the killer is the instance involving a Christians and a Non-Christian fellas. Someone related me a story of Christians vs. Muslims in Nigeria. The Muslims had come to exterminate the Christians, they murdered plenty of them and repeated the same operation twice. Meanwhile, a Muslim who had recently converted to Christianism, witnessed the whole injustice and decided to open a warehouse of weapons and gave to his Christians brothers. Hence the 3rd time when the Muslims came back to finish their job, they met with a very fierce adversity and that brought back peace. People often think that because you're a Christian you 're not supposed to claim justice when you've been done wrong. You'll often hear them say, "oh, and then she'll say that she's a Christian" or "oh yeah, if it's to talk about God this.. God that... he's very good at it." And so they use those tricks to manipulate those who are weak in characters. This is 1st degree witchcraft as it wraps up all the two types above. Personally, I believe it's a matter of wisdom when dealing with anyone that has done you wrong. There are times you can decide to let go and other when you should, no, you MUST fight back.

Stay Tuned, Stay Bold, Stay away from witchcraft
Tresor De Beaute

Never Will I Be Able To Thank You Enough

2010-09-18T12:41:00.000-04:00

Never will I be able to thank you enough
Never will I be able to express my gratitude enough
You rescued me from a certain death
From the rescue I lost my breadth
The things that I first looked at as jeopardy
Now are at the heart of my party
I cried I mourned I sobbed
It felt like a surgery without anesthesia
I could have turned like Fantasia
No morphine no medicine could attenuate the pain
And a deep pain it was but I had to face it again and again
As time went by my vision that was once blurrier
Became clearer
And now I can understand better
The scar is there to remind of what once was
Also a reminder of what now is
Now is peace
After all how would we appreciate peace
Hadn't we known war?
Now is happiness
How would we appreciate happiness
Hadn't we known sadness?
Now is delightfulness
How would we appreciate delightfulness
Hadn't we known resentment and bitterness?
Now is hope
How would we appreciate hope
Hadn't we known hopelessness and despair?
Never will I be able to thank you enough
Never will I be able to express my gratitude enough

Don't Let Her/Him Turn You into Someone You Are NOT!!

2010-09-11T14:12:00.000-04:00

- How is your wife doing?
- Who? She was a big mistake
- Sorry to hear that. How's your kid?
- With her and probably for the best.
- So she turned you into a dead-beat dad?
     I heard a story, a true story about a man. He had a decent job, was well respected in his community and he had the desire to get married. So he looked amongst his people from his church and his eyes caught the ones of a beautiful lady. She had been in church for a while, was known and admired from everybody. They didn't date for long, got married and had kids. Meanwhile, things around him started to unravel. People would call him and were told by the wife he wasn't home although he was there. She would sabotage him unbeknownst to him. Fights would rise in his congregation for no apparent reasons and people would complain about his wife, but to him she was the sweetest and greatest thing that ever happened to him. One day he came back home from work after another exhausting day and his wife warmly welcomed him, wearing lingerie, dragged him to their private quarters for some frolic exchange. Then she asked him to turn around for she had a surprise for him. At her signal he turned back and saw on his bed, at the exact place his wife was lying, a big snake. She had metamorphosed into a giant reptile. He only had time to jump through the window to save his life, leaving behind his house, his kids and his belongings. Did I mention he was a pastor?
     Many of us have similar experiences. People in our lives we hung with, we were attached to, we lived with or even married, who in the beginning were a source of a great joy, then turned out the be the biggest stumbling block on our path, causing us to shift our beliefs and our approach to life. To those I would like to say this: The best revenge is to reclaim who you are by not letting them turn into someone you are not. Don't let them turn you into a dead-beat dad/mom, don't let them turn you into a residual pot of resentment and negativity. After the initial stage of anger and disappointment, followed by pain and suffering, let your healing begin. Look at the whole experience as a gangrene that was just waiting to be removed, knowing and enjoying every bit of the better life you now have. Reclaim your life, become a better person, set yourself some new goals and reach them. Use your experience to help out others. Reclaim your personality and some more. How do you do this? Check out my post "2 Easy Steps to Total Self-Rediscovery".

     Now the question is: "how can I trust my future choice, when the first time around it burned me? To this, I only have one answer: Your Creator. You may be a skeptic, but how can you be skeptical about something you have not experienced? Give it a try and see for yourself. Maybe you're thinking, been there done that, where did that get me? Well, I can only ask this: When you were there doing that, did you have nudges? Were you sometimes uncomfortable, thinking maybe this is not the right thing to do or the right person? Were people around you warning you about your choice? If you answer is yes to any of these questions, then again give your Creator a try. Let him know what you think, what you want and in return He'll let you know what He thinks and what He wants, and finally you can make up your mind. Meanwhile, don't let him/her turn you into someone you are NOT!!

Stay Strong, Stay Blessed, Stay Beautiful
Tresor De Beaute

What's Your Season Now?

2010-09-01T15:23:00.001-04:00

I started this post a hundred thousand times but it wouldn't come out right because I was trying to "secularize" it as much as possible to no avail. I stated in one of my previous how difficult it is to transcribe good things that are happening to oneself. It has been a very long, fulfilling, reinvigorating summer!! Lots of travel, lots of study (yeah, summer classes!!), lots of fun and life changing decisions,one amazing experience after another: graduation, wedding, summer camp retreat, another wedding, divine connections, incredible encounters and favors. And throughout all, one thing I learned and would like to share here is to recognize the seasons in your life, every domain of your life.
Over two and half years ago, my life as I knew it, kneaded and molded it with my own hands shattered right underneath my nose. I had a choice, to either bend down, pick up the pieces to put them together or bend down, pick up the pieces to throw them away. As a Software Engineer/Application Developer, at times when doing design analysis, we have to decide whether to build on top of the existing object or just create a brand new object with new properties. The former strategy allows you not to start from scratch and it saves you on time. One of the drawbacks however is that, sometimes it's harder to track a bug especially if part of the code has been touched by someone else. As for the latter, starting from scratch gives you a better control of the situation, you're the foundation author of all the parameters and components involved and it's much easier to debug if the need arises. This same concept applies in real life. Sometimes when facing a bifurcation, you ought to take a pause and consider: is it worth continuing on the same path? Or should you start over and start from scratch? Whatever decision you take, make sure, you've consulted with the Architect to ensure that you've obtained the seal of his approval; then check, double-check and even triple check the foundation. Once that's done, check the material you're using to build. Finally, start on building, stone after stone, always checking back with the Architect any time doubt or incomprehension arises. I mentioned earlier that my life as I had shaped it came crashing on my face. That situation forced me to take a step back and consider where I had faulted:
- I had graduated from college and I told myself that it was time to get onto the next level with a relationship. Not because you think you're ready to do something that it means you should do it.
- I had moved the pillars of my values, putting my trust in me instead of in He who created me. Giving into all kinds of justification and rationale.
Armed with those truths, determined not to let them slide out of my sight, I resolved to do it right this time around. This resolution had two big essentials and undiscountable steps: penitence and volte-face. The first step was the easiest.The second was hot pepper. It required that I forgo of my ego and trust that His choices were better than mine. And God knows how much of a big ego I can have, as much as it makes me, it can also breaks me and it had in the past.
Nevertheless, it wasn't long before I started reaping the first fruits:
- Finances: I got a job during the full blown recession with an unbelievable salary increase
- Great connections: I found favor in the eyes of great person, opening the doors to all kinds of riches
- Peace: unfathomable feeling, must be experienced!
These are just big highlights, I can't list everything here. One important detail that I need to underline here is that I had some help: faithful, truthful and loyal friends praying for and with me. There are certain things that, no matter how willing we are, we need someone to accompany us along. It's like cheating/infidelity. No matter how strong the need to cheat on your partner is, you can't do it on your own unless you find someone willing to do it with you. It is important that the people you allow in your close vicinity are:
- Faithful: they'll call you and listen to you, bring you their support, put up with your rants and frustration and you can call them whenever in need
- Truthful: they'll tell you the truth even when it hurts or when that's ugly
- Loyal: they'll always have your back.
So, this is a season of peace and rewards, the first fruits of things to come as the work is still in progress.

Stay tuned, Stay bold, Stay beautiful
Tresor De beaute

Quotes From Tresor De Beaute

2010-08-21T12:53:00.014-04:00

When you consecrate (set apart) yourself to God, He holds you to a higher standard. Therefore even the peccadilloes that most people get away with, yours can cost you the promise land.

At times when we feel betrayed, we're not directly mad at the perpetrator but we're mad at ourselves having realized that we were stupid enough, naive enough for allowing the perpetrator in our inner circle in the first place.

The fruit of a true prayer life is the eradication of a negative attitude, the annihilation of destructive criticism and the rise of a continual delightfulness at life.

You can recognize a good tree by the good fruits it carries. Be careful not to confuse green leaves with fruits...Tricky!!

There is no true friendship after a broken relationship.

Although past mistakes help us to learn and grow, they leave stains in our lives that, at times, are hard to removed and hard to ignore.

When you think about your enemies and all you can feel is not anger, nor resentment, but pity, then you know you've reached your upmost point of forgiveness.

Although the battle is not ours to fight, the victory is ours to savor.

It's a mixture of feelings when looking back at your inglorious past: feelings of stupidity when you know it could have been all avoided have you listened to your guts; feelings of contentment because you're in a much better place.

Be wary of white lies as they are a foreshadow of "black" lies.

There are some marriages that should be mourned and some divorces that should be celebrated.

Stay tuned, Stay blessed, Stay beautiful
Tresor De Beaute

Starting Over? Start From Scratch: 2 Easy Steps to Total Self-Rediscovery

2010-08-03T12:15:00.001-04:00

As I have officially celebrated my 30-1 th birthday, many things can describe my state of mind, spirit and soul. It's funny how thoughts of joy, happiness, peace, love and hope are sometimes difficult to translate into words. Just imagine yourself bursting into genuine laugh, no worries, no sorrow, no bad feelings (guilt, shame, revenge, unforgiveness, shadenfreude...etc), no crying, just laughing and smiling and dancing, hopeful anticipation, gratefulness. Food on your table, table in your kitchen, kitchen in your home, bills paid, paid with money, money in your bank account. Free time, time to travel, time to see friends and family [home or overseas], time to enjoy life at its fullest, time to count your blessings, blessings from God, God in your heart, heart in your God,WOW!! Indescribable the feelings you have when you know you're living the life you're supposed to live. That's the results of starting over, starting from scratch.
This year has been simply amazing. It took a while before I reached this point though. Time to go through some reckless decisions, reaping the consequences, then time to entertain some powerful emotional disturbances, reaping the consequences and finally time to get rid of them. I was "lucky", I didn't reach rock bottom: abandoned with a child to raise, drugs abused, sex addiction, nowhere to go,...nothing as dramatic. However I reached a point where I just told myself: "Enough is enough, I'm out!"
This deepest determination was a strong driving force to propel me back into reality, reality according to the standards I had set for myself and that unfortunately I had deviated from. I remembered where and how the downfall started. I mentioned in one of my previous post that anytime you settle for something or someone that or who goes against your core beliefs, disaster naturally follows [literally]. Once I had acknowledged that and taken actions to reclaim who I was/I am, morphism began. You adopt a different attitude when you realize you're "walking in your destiny" with the assurance and the demonstration that you have God's favor resting on you.

If you haven't laughed at this post's title, then try this link for a genuine outburst.

Peace and Love
Stay blessed, Stay tuned, Stay Beautiful

Tresor De Beaute

Week of Awesomeness

2010-06-19T05:07:00.005-04:00

This is my week of awesomeness. A week during which I will laud all the key people who have chosen me as the recipient of their kindness, love and interest manifested in many ways.

To all my dear readers,
Friends and non-friends
Close or apart
For reading me and sending me kudos
for judging or not judging
for commenting or not
You're awesome!

You tolerated me even when I couldn't tolerate myself
You're awesome!
You taught me about forgiveness
I must admit I was impressed
Given you didn't know the best
Hence getting me out of my mess
You're awesome!
A million kisses to you I blow
An angel in disguise that I know
With you by me I grow
You're awesome!
You prayed with and for me
Even though I didn't feel like praying for me
You encouraged me
You counseled me
You're awesome!
When the least I would've expected
From you a gift unsuspected
You're awesome!
After a long extenuating day at work
I get home to see that you've cooked
You're awesome!
Out of your busy schedule
Overseas or at home
You take time to phone me
And to listen to me
You stand by me loyally
You're awesome!
I wasn't sure how long I would stay
You opened me the doors of your home
You welcomed me and gave me my space
You're awesome!
I stumbled and fell
The darkness out of me you expelled
You stretched out your arm
Bent over to reach out to mine
I saw your sunshine
And close to you I was drawn
You swiped away all my tears
And rid me of all my fears
Today confidently I stand
Knowing I have for guide your hand
Living the life I'm destined
Renewed, redeemed and pristine
To you I owe all that I am
YOU'RE AWESOME!!

stay tuned, stay blessed, stay AWESOME!!
Tresor de Beaute

Ps: You can follow me @ http://twitter.com/TresorDeBeaute

Strong Women ==> Strong Nation

2010-06-09T23:12:00.000-04:00

     I woke up this morning with my inbox full of news alerts from yesterday senatorial and gubernatorial primaries:
- Sen. Blanche Lincoln wins the Democratic Senate primary in Arkansas, prevailing over Lt. Gov. Bill Halter
Meg Whitman, the former chief executive of eBay, has won the Republican gubernatorial primary in California. She will face Attorney General Jerry Brown.
- Carly Fiorina, the former chief executive of Hewlett-Packard, has won the Republican Senate primary in California. She will face Sen. Barbara Boxer, who won Tuesday's Democratic primary, in November.
- Former state assemblywoman Sharron Angle has won the Republican Senate primary in Nevada, She will face Senate Majority Leader Harry M. Reid, who won Tuesday's Democratic primary, in November.
     I got to admit this, I was very pleased with the results and I'm hoping the finals will reflect the same following trend: More and more women are in leadership positions in various fields that were once dominated by our male counterpart. Unfortunately, if there's one thing that the last presidential primaries taught us, the general population is not yet ready for a female leader. After all at the Senate level only, there have been 38 women in the United States holding that position since the establishment of that body in 1789. Women were first elected in number in 1922. Today, 17 of the 100 U.S. Senators are women. Thirteen of the women who have served were appointed; seven of those were appointed to succeed their deceased husbands.
At the State Government level, thirty-two women have served or are serving as the governor of a U.S. state
The first female governor was Nellie Tayloe Ross of Wyoming (which just so happened to be the first ever part of the US to have woman suffrage) who was elected on November 4, 1924 and sworn in on January 5, 1925. She was preceded in office by her late husband William B. Ross. The first female governor elected without being the wife or widow of a past state governor was Ella T. Grasso of Connecticut, elected in 1974 and sworn in on January 8, 1975. (Wikipedia, 2010)
     Top leadership female invasion is slow but certain. Having a veejay-jay does not amputate our left synapse.

A couple of weekends ago, I had the pleasure to watch one of my friends getting acknowledge for the completion of the hard labor she has put into her research, thus crowning her success with a Ph.D. in Biophysics: CONGRATS to Dr. A.N.!!, you're an example and model to many of us.
I remember the day Carly Fiorina got "lynched" from HP, there was mourning in the feminist community as Carly was the most powerful women in business during that era. However, she did not let the 2005 missteps determine her future, on the contrary she redefined herself and is emerging today as a very strong candidate for the Senate seat in the state of California. It happens to the best of us--women --to make mistake, to make the wrong choices, to put the wrong priorities on top of the list, nevertheless, we're not blockheads, instead shrewd, intelligent and very capable beings. So what is it that you'd like to achieve? Improve your English proficiency? What about cutting down your soap opera time and pick up a book or a kindle [wink wink..]? Get that bachelor degree? What about getting enrolled in a school and start at least with one class at a time? Get your own business? What about quitting talking about it and just doing it? Don't let that knucklehead of significant other put you down, besides if he can't help you pursue your dreams, then he probably ain't good for you. Don't let those bad companions talk you out of it. Don't let that little cash trap hold you up, rather roll up your sleeves and keep on pressing. Are you in a place where you feel complaisant? Then it's time to re-orient and re-focus, set up a new goal, what about giving back to your community? Volunteer somewhere, mentor someone, give a hand to another. After all there is no greater pleasure than satisfaction when giving out rather than always receiving.

Stay Tuned, Stay Bold, Stay Beautiful
Tresor De Beaute

In Search of the One

2010-05-24T11:43:00.001-04:00

      I will not pretend to detain the keys of wisdom on how to recognize the perfect one for you. One thing that I know for sure is that, the minute you lower your fundamental/core values in the name of "I can change him/her" or "nobody is perfect", you'll start the slow and painful death of your inner (wo)man, thus engaging yourself on the devastating road of unhappiness. Ladies, if a guy tells you "I'm not good for you" or "I'm a piece of garbage", don't say to yourself "awww..., how cute he is...", pick up your stuffs, wish him well and turn your heels in the opposite direction because he truly means it. He can say that confidently about himself because he's known himself better and longer than you did in the one month since you've met. Don't play God by trying to save him from himself. YOU CAN'T CHANGE HIM/HER.
     Before I get ahead of myself, let's tackle this question: "Who is the one?"
The one is that person whose qualities you laud every time you have an opportunity in public or in private, and whose weakness you acknowledge and help him/her improve.
The one is that person, you can see yourself as a woman being submissive to and as a man loving her to the point you can give your life for her.
The one is that person who cares about your welfare physically, mentally, intellectually, spiritually.
The one is that person whom you ask yourself: "How can I make him/her happy?"
The one is that person whose name puts a smile on your face when you see it displayed on your caller id.
The one is that person you can no longer imagine living your life without.
     Here is a mistake that most us make. We define the one by what s/he has instead of who s/he is. I remember a conversation I had w/ a friend and the list was like "must have at least a house...must make at least $75k/yr...must drive this kind of car...must possess this...must possess that..." Now my question is what if the person loses all that, then what happens?
     True story: the first time he laid his eyes on her was at a party, he flashed, worked the ranks to win her. He flooded her closet with shoes, clothes and perfumes, filled her empty time with trips, loaded her wallet with cash. About 6 or so months into the relationship, her car got totaled in a crash, he took a loan in his name and bought her a new one, newer than his own. He left school to work more to help her pay for hers. She brought him to church, he loved God and loved her even more. Less than a year later, they were married, even had a child, then stress from life started piling on. Perfumes, clothes and shoes were getting scarce, car got repossessed, income had decreased, frustration and complaints had raised. Next, she had turned her back on him, crushed him by sleeping around, robbed him from his dignity.
     It is clear from the story above that we must review our priorities, do a self exam to diagnose who we are before we can get who we need. As I heard someone said, if you have a car issue, who do you go to? To the manufacturer right? If you have a laptop issue, who do you go to? The manufacturer right? At work when our app doesn't perform the way it's supposed, who do you turn to? The Developer Engineeer!! So if you have a person issue or "the one" issue, who should you go to? Yes, that's right, The Maker. Turn to the One who knows you well, inside out, The One who can read you even when nobody can figure you out. Some believe is Nobody, I believe is Somebody, Others believe is MOther Earth, I believe is Father God. Who do you believe it is?
     Therefore, as stated earlier, one thing you need to establish is a list of your own values that you would like to see in your mate and a list of your deal breakers. The latter should be easier, you must reduce it to a list of things you can't compromise on: is s/he a drug addict? Is he an abuser? (physically, mentally, emotionally) Character wise: Is s/he loyal? Does s/he turn her/his back when things go south? If yes, Cut him/her loose b4 you say I do. What family values does s/he have? Does s/he despise your family members, doesn't show them respect? If yes, cut him/her loose before saying I do...The list can go on. The goal is to determine all those things that you can't stand, things that are undebatable on your territory.
     These are just guidelines, experts have studied and written about this matter for years, Bookstores have huge sections dedicated to the topic. However, the best teacher is experience. So, don't be a fool and repeat mistakes that others have already made. Learn from your own and learn from others, as the French say "A man forewarned is a man forearmed".
In the search of the one, trust your guts and trust your God.

Stay tuned, stay blessed, stay beautiful
Tresor de Beaute

What Would It Take For Us To Get It Right?

2010-05-07T15:11:00.001-04:00

         I think God has a soft spot for women. He promised a child to Sarah in her old age, she laughed; He did nothing and still gave her the child. He promised a child to Zacharias in his old age, he laughed; He made him mute for about 9 months till the child was born. He also gave women the ability to smell a bad relationship at a distance. That ability is called intuition. Unfortunately our capability to ignore that hunch is way higher than to just follow it. Boy, would we avoid some unnecessary heartbreaks if could just be a little less stubborn. To illustrate my point, here are snippets of true stories:
     They've been long time friends, liked each other but never got involved until about adulthood. She was in bad shape, had just gotten out of a committed nightmarish misery, he was a good listener, a confident and a comforter to her. They made promises to each other, six months into the relationship she changed her mind, she wanted to date longer and postpone marriage. They got into long arguments, broke up at least twice [Now, let me say sthg about break ups, 95% of the time when you break up, it's because you've reached a dealbreaker point and when or if you decide to put the pieces back together, whatever caused the 1st breakup will not go away.], got back together to finally an totally break up again.
     They met through a family member, she was involved in a serious relationship and so was he. Two years later, they were both unattached, decided to get involved. Every time they were together, she had a hunch that something wasn't right, consequently she wasn't feeling free with him although she kept reassuring herself that she liked him, after all he seemed better and more promising than the other ones. Then one day as they were spending some quality time, his door bell rang with insistence and it was his ex-girlfriend. To her dismay, he announced her point blank that he had decided to get back with the ex.
     They met online, quickly got into sweet and kinky talks, calling each other baby, they were living in different cities. After 2-3 months of phone talks, she finally got to meet him first in his town. After two weeks of bliss and "unbliss" [the bliss had slipped away when she found out about his unhealthy eating habits, his dark moods, his stinginess], she was no longer sure he was or could be the one for her "he was so different from what he said he were, from what he said over the phone" and from what she had imagined him to be. Nevertheless, she hanged on to him. Three months had passed and he still hadn't made any effort to go visit her, on the fourth month after threats and ultimatums he finally traveled the distance, only for her to discover that he had other relationships going on.
     They met via a third party, she was visiting a friend and there he was. It wasn' t love at first sight nor was it lust at first sight. They got to know each other, even lived together. In the course of their dating, they'd have countless headless arguments and each one of them would end up with her feeling a little more empty about the relationship, then followed by one break up, then a smooth reconciliation and finally marriage that ended up a year later w/ him dragging his male engine up too close inside an undesirable v-jay-jay [if you know what I mean].
     In all these stories, the female protagonists would always report either a doubt, discomfort or some type of uneasiness about their relationship but each time they would convince themselves with slogans like “nobody is perfect” or “I can make do with it” or “I’m tired of looking, I’ll just stick with this one”.
Now I realize that “it’s not good for a man [or a woman] to be alone”. And at some point in our lives, we must all [at least most of us] find the “one”, hence open a door to disappointments, deception and the like. Nevertheless, ladies, because we think more with our heart and emotions, we must guard and protect them, then ensure that we unleash them only to the one who deserves it. For that, let's start by listening to that gut feeling.

I guess at this point, our next topic will be: How can we know he’s the “one”? Is there such a thing as “the one”?

Stay tuned, stay blessed, stay beautiful
Tresor De Beaute

Honest to God, What Would You Do?

2010-04-27T19:49:00.000-04:00

Has s.o ever done sthg to you or put you through such a dreadful, awful, sickly painful situation and powerful enough to shake your core beliefs?
You look at the person and you see horns on their head
You think of the person and your bowels get twisted
You recall back some of the canon moments between you and the person and you wonder if your imagination is playing tricks on your mind. Were they real or were they all playful acts to ensnare into trusting them, into letting them in and close to you?
When they prayed that God bless you, were they in fact cursing you under their breath?
When they kissed you good morning, did they wish you had died in your sleep at night?
You look at them and ask yourself "Who are they?" What happened, for them to become this monster?
Have they always been monsterish but you've been blind the whole time?
The act they committed against you stirred so much despise for them for life that you feel some shadenfreude anytime you hear about some of their misfortunes.
Now, out of that dark place of flout, despite and contempt, you've nursed and licked your wounds til they healed, and into a place of smile, laugh, burst of joy and total happiness and then come this still small voice asking you to forgive, to really forgive. The voice's Author mirrors you in a negotiation position w/ you possessing and holding onto a little precious bag of gold, asking you to trade it against His big stash of gold. You can see the stash, a giant pile of shining preciousness and The Voice guarantees you it'll be yours if and only if you let go of your little bag. He says he'll also add to it peace, love and pure joy, he says he'll raise you up to heights you've never imagined. Meanwhile, you look at your bag, you know how hard you've worked to amass all that "fortune", to collect all pieces one by one, and now you should give it up? What do you do?
Do you just easily trust The Voice to keep his part of the bargain and give you that big pile?
Do you just easily forgive that person, the cause of your tumble?
That person who looked at you in the eyes and said I love you, you're like a sister/brother to me but yet consciously took the decision to dismantle you?
That person who offered you gift as a token of their appreciation for what you've done for them, but yet rubbing their hand with glee anticipating your downfall?
That person whom you never turned your back from for support, materially, financially, emotionally and more but yet skillfully prepared themselves to be a stumbling block for you? What do you do?
That person who never said "I'm sorry"? Honest to God, what do you do?
Whatever your answer or decision is, remember this:

"If we say that monsters [people who do terrible evil] are beyond forgiving, we give them a power they should never have...they are given the power to keep their evil alive in the hearts of those who suffered most. We give them power to condemn their victims to live forever with the hurting memory of their painful pasts. We give the monsters the last word."

Lewis B. Smedes - Forgive & Forget: Healing the Hurts We Don't Deserve
“When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.” Catherine Ponder

"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you."

Philip Yancey - The Unnatural Act (article, Christianity Today, April 8, 1991)

Dear Readers

2010-04-24T10:01:00.000-04:00

Dear Readers,
First of all, I would like to apologize to my faithful readers. I took an unprecedented, though a much needed hiatus. Lots of great things have been happening to and around me and I hope to share with you some of them throughout my upcoming posts.

I would like to start with this image [they say a picture is worth a thousand words] and a recalibration of my stands which are better expressed through this alternate version of this poem from Carol Wimmer.

When I say that 'I am a Christian,' I am not shouting that 'I am clean living.'
I'm whispering 'I was lost, but now I'm found and forgiven.'

When I say 'I am a Christian,' I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say 'I am a Christian,' I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak and need His strength to carry on.

When I say 'I am a Christian,' I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed and need God to clean my mess.

When I say 'I am a Christian,' I'm not claiming to be perfect.
My flaws are far too visible, but God believes I am worth it.

When I say 'I am a Christian,' I still feel the sting of pain.
I have my share of heartaches, so I call upon His name.

When I say 'I am a Christian,' I'm not holier than thou,
I'm just a simple sinner who received God's good grace, somehow!

Stay tuned as there is more to come.

Now That I had Light

2010-02-02T12:50:00.000-05:00

Now that I had Light
Now that my sight had come back
I was horrified by the true state of the premises.
There was dust everywhere
On the table, on the shelves and the rest of the furniture
In the closet and even on some of my clothes
Although still beautiful
I hadn't realized how dirty everything had become
Cleaning was a priority
Sorting and ordering were on the agenda
Some Items had been moved
And needed to be put back in place
Other had spoiled and needed to be replaced
Some had been brought in
and needed to be brought back
Spiders had cobwebbed the cellar
Some Walls needed a fresh new paint
Other needed some scrubbing and rinsing (repeat)
Redec imposed itself
Doubting my own ability to handle the task, I hired a professional
He suggested to knock down the upper west side of a wall
Wall on which I had carefully mounted a book shelf
Book Shelf full of my meticulously elaborated theories
Theories on life personal or otherwise
Collection of stories and short essays
They all were a trophy of my pride and accomplishments
Now I had to choose between keeping them or giving it a chance
A chance to the beautiful glass window that would replace them,
Thus opening a view on a beautiful and live green landscape
In the middle which a fountain will be flowing
How I had neglected and forgotten about such a beauty
I gave it a go and so went the wall
Along with my pride and trophies
It was as painful and scary as I thought it would be but
I had something better to look forward to
I trust my architect He had done this before too
Since then renovation have been undergoing
...

Who Needs Light?

2010-01-25T10:37:00.000-05:00

Light had left
But I hadn't noticed cuz I had closed mine eyes
So I thought I could do without Light
For a while I did good, very good
I confused my groping around in the dark with self confidence
And I said who needs Light?
I had become used to the misshape of objects around me
Then one day, things started going in disarray
To my big dismay, I asked what went wrong in the play?
Wasn't everything under control?
This wasn't fun, this wasn't droll
I had to figure out a way, a mean to take the horns' bull
I succeeded
Again, I said who needs Light?
I had become used to the misshape of objects around me
Darkness had cast its light upon them
I used people and got used by people
Light had warned me of the demise to come
But I ignored it and again I said
Who needs Light?
The disaster was incommensurable
The aftermath nearly tragic
I used rationale
I used morale
I put on a mask of pride
An armor of invincibility
Hiding my wounds and scars
I knew I couldn't go on like this much longer
[I remember the days when things were different
Things were much simpler
What had happened?]
A friend shared his Light with me
But it wasn't enough to re-ignite my own
So another friend brought hers
Slowly but surely I could feel the warmth of my own Light
My wounds were healing
My sight was recovering
My zest was jolting
I didn't need Light anymore

I HAD LIGHT!

The Magic Of Music

2010-01-13T12:03:00.001-05:00

     Music has a very subtle way to control our mood. Some music may bring you down, other may lift up your spirit all depending of what circumstances you were in when you first heard it.
     The magic of music dates back from way before the birth of our Lord Jesus. Among the first kings of Israel, there was this guy, Saul (apparently during his last days he was possessed by some evil spirits that would disturb him) could only be calmed down by a certain sound played by young David.
     There are some songs [any old makossa from Ndedi Dibango, Francois Misse Ngoh, Tom Yom's, Charlotte Mbango, Grace/Ben Decca or Monique Seka] from my childhood, that regardless of what I'm doing, if I hear them, my lips will put to birth a big smile and if the normal conditions of temperature and pressure are united, I can even break into a dance: they are a reminder of my tiny young self, my innocence and naivety, hopefulness, carelessness and stupidity.
Brown Eyed Girl: As for my adult life, this is a song that every time the melody fills my ears and soul, my spirit jumps inside and a veil of nostalgia wraps itself around my mind spurring a multitude of memories. I remember I had just gotten introduced to Milton and his paradise in which I had gotten lost. The deep stentorian voice that had accompanied me in this journey succeeded to squeeze out of me an ode to poetry and the beauty of language.
Imagine: John Lennon has been part of my existence for quite some time now. It's been over a decade and half since the first time I heard about him. It was in a documentary relating the sex revolution of 1960s, the rising of sects and the influence of Rock'n Roll. Of all his songs, this one is my favorite. It's unfortunate he left this earth so early. He was a visionary, a dreamer. He dreamed of a better world. However, the elegy that results from these lyrics embodies such a deep sense of melancholy that pushes you to either confront or contemplate whatever crisis you may be going through at the moment, simultaneously giving you a sense of satisfaction once the crisis has passed.
Ron Kenoly & Don Moen: Don & Ron will remain forever among my favorite Praise and Worship singers. Any CD I've owned from those two, I can sing along all the songs on the tracks. They're so inspirational. They represent that banner of purity and sanctity that we all used to long for during that era when I believed that if there would be one person with faith left on earth when Jesus comes back, it'd be me. I still turn them on when I want and need to put my Jesus swagger on. They serve as a hideout in times of need, distress, joy and hope. They definitely keep me grounded.

That's the magic of music in my life, what about yours?

I Love You But I Can't Be With You

2010-01-06T20:54:00.003-05:00

"I love you but I can't be with you"
I used to hear that a lot in soap operas, but never understood what it meant. How can you love, care about someone but can't get yourself to be with the person? Finally, one day I got hold of the meaning of that statement.

It is an excruciating pain that you must go through when taking the decision to turn the page over on a relationship especially when you still entertain feelings for the loved one. It's almost as if you have to separate yourself from your body and get into your avatar to accomplish things that you couldn't have from your own body. With your avatar on, your left brain takes control of the ship, makes decisions and follow them through. It commands your cerebral synapses and they must obey. It commands your mouth and it must obey. It commands your heart and your heart...

I love you but I can't be with you
because my love for you brings me more pain and despair than refrain and repair

I love you but I can't be with you
Because my love can't be built on suspicions
Suspicions of unfaithfulness, suspicions of wayward ways

I love you but I can't be with you
Because my love fears of being hurt
And this fear is greater than the temptation to put my trust in you again

I love you but I can't be with you
Because love is a two way street, a four-legged table.

I love you but I can't be with you
Because you can't love me back the way I need to.

I love you but I can't be with you
Because you can't say you love me and not protect me
You can't say you love me and not stand for me.
You can't say you love me and not be loyal to me.

You want us to be friends? How is that supposed to work?
Friendship requires trustworthiness and loyalty.
Besides, isn't it an utopia to believe in a friendship after a relationship?
Could it be possible after some time?
They say time heals
How much time do you need? How much do I need?
How much time do we need?
Doesn't it depend of each one own immunity system?
And who knows, you may experience side effects different from mine.

I love you so dearly but it aches thinking about it, so guess what I did!
I moved on, I turned the page over and started a new chapter
I'm learning new materials now
The assignments are quite interesting
And the teacher couldn't be more exciting and engaging
Does s/he compare to you? In many ways, no, not quite.
But I've accepted it
As I believe in each one of us uniqueness

Besides, not all things or people are forever in our lives.
Some are meant to be there for long or extended periods of time.
Others are there with a limited warranty.

I know you understand
I know you agree
I love you but I can't be with you

Kicking Off the New Year

2010-01-05T13:25:00.002-05:00

To all of my readers and non readers, HAPPY NEW YEAR!! What's better than to kick off the new year with some humor!? I saw this pic on a friend's friend page and decided to steal it and share it with you.

Isn't it weird all the misconceptions we can have about other races, cultures or one another?

Ps: Apparently, Google got it fixed back in August 2009.

They All Want A Piece Of This

2009-12-28T11:45:00.007-05:00

They all want a piece this
It didn't matter if they were married, divorced, single or engaged
Short, tall, midgets or in-between, they try their chance
One commonality amongst all of them: hideousness
A huge physical deficit reinforced by their lack of literacy
They'd use vulgar language to describe things they want to do if they ever put their hand on this piece

Some of them even wear fake glasses to pass themselves as smart
Or as one shenanigan said, "to protect their eyes" although they have a very limited mind
Limited to ideas, limited to discussions, limited to exploration, limited to life
And their limited minds put you in their limited box, trying to make you fit
It doesn't matter if they've been in school and have advanced degrees
You'd be surprised at the enormities born from their tongue

Others are just totally delusional
They make up stories about you and think God has spoken to them
Maybe He has, but wouldn't he also speak to you, to convey the same message?
You talk to them once and they think you've pledged something with them
You say no, they hear yes until you threaten them with harassment that they understand you mean business

There's a third category, the ones who can be kind, who can even sustain a quite intelligent conversation
However, they're very dark inside
Close to tormented by some indiscernible force that push them to act the way they do
You need to get close to them to understand, but don't get too close as you may get burnt
They use that darkness to stir empathy in you by belittling themselves
They think of you not as a person but as a piece to their puzzle, a mean to an end
More often than not, they end up alone and empty
No, it's not audacity, pretentiousness or a "I'm better than thou" tirade
It's just a portray of facts viewed from a different angle
So you, be careful who you allow in your inner circle
They all wear mantle of sheep when in fact they're wolves just awaiting to devour you
Be even more aware of those who claim coming from the Lord, they're more dangerous
For all of them, always check their past and find out how they treated the people in their lives
Chances are they'll repeat the same idiosyncrasies with you

Break Up Lines

2009-12-26T21:34:00.002-05:00

I decided to get back with my ex --Y. T.
This is not working out, I've passed the point of blame --TB
You remind of me my ex...Thank you so much as you leave me alone --PA/TB
Yes, I slept with her --PJ
I got issues to take care that I don't want to mingle them with you--PK
I went back home and married my ex girlfriend --GE
You're coming here to see how I live? That will not happen --CT
You and I? Well, there is no you and I. TB
I think we need to break up --V.M.

Regardless of what your break up lines have been, each one of us is a bit of a scientist and as such, "The best scientist is open to experience and begins with romance -- the idea that anything is possible" Ray Bradbury

Ps: Please don't hesitate to share your break up lines here.

Tiana, Charlotte ou Miranda?

2009-12-22T22:12:00.004-05:00

I went to watch the princess& the frog. No need to say, I was the only non-parent in the theatre, purely there for my own selfish pleasure. It was a reminder of my childhood, a vision of my tiny ten years old self enjoying "Cendrillon" aka Cinderella. We (my siblings and I) grew up with Disney cartoon: Daffy Duck, Bugs Bunny, Tom&Jerry (I have a copy of it, downloaded and burnt on a DVD for my imaginary kids to watch someday), and Aladin. A tale of princesses going through hardship until the their prince charming would come and deliver them. We'd watch and re-watch the tapes just like the comics, we'd read and re-read them. I remember one of my favorite was a book called "Mille Et Une Nuits" (One Thousand And One Nights) Tome I&II. They were huge books of 1001 pages narrating eventful stories with happy endings. When it comes to the matter of the heart, I'm a half Charlotte [the one who believes in love and that everything happens for a reason] and half Miranda [The cynical one who sees herself as a realist, and one who believes in wysinwyg (what you see is not what you get), she thinks people are fundamentally wicked and always have an ulterior motive and she also believes that love can happen but you can make do without by focusing on your career, getting that first house/condo, buying expensive stuffs out of pocket, ...etc]. Regardless of your views or positions on the subject, whatever is supposed to happen to you will happen. The difference is only in the approach. Some people are go getters while others are "let's wait and see".
Today the siblings and I are all grown ups, each one of us pursuing their own dreams, some of us already living that dream, and others still going through the hardship of life. As for me, I'm lucky, very lucky...

INVICTUS is A MUST SEE!!

2009-12-19T21:23:00.002-05:00

     I think sports movie are overrated nevertheless I went to watch Invictus. If you haven't seen it, please do!! It's probably one of the most inspiring sports movie [after "Remember the Titans"] I've ever watched. The director, Clint Eastwood (I hope he wins the best director Oscar this year), did an astounding job with the camera capturing the last ten minutes of the grand finale. A slow motion picture that depicts every single emotion not only of the different actors face but of you, the movie watcher, down to the heartbeat. Well this post is not about putting into lights all those details, I'll leave that to the critics. There are two things that captivated me in this movie, aside Matt Damon guns that were half revealed when he was in the locker room [a reminder of beautiful sculpture well in displayed in the Bourne Trilogy], discipline and more importantly forgiveness.
     Here is a team who is motivated to win, they put themselves under a strict regiment, they work out, they run, they train. They celebrate their victory after they qualify themselves to semi-finale, they sing, they drink, they shout but yet they go running the next day at 6am. I've always been fascinated by such determination to achieve and rigorous assiduity, maybe because I lack some [especially the latter].
     And there is a guy, an ex-con who after 27 years spent behind bars, comes out and becomes the first democratic President, the great leader of the nation of South Africa after the abolition of Apartheid. His purpose is to transcend race and reunite the people of his country under one Flag, one anthem. He can't do it without truly forgiving the very people who tore his family apart by dragging him and his wife out their home, and threw him in jail, the same people who would not hesitate to torture, insult, terrorize, or lynch any person of color on any ground, the people who gave him for all and all a thin mat where he would rest during his 27 years in prison, breaking bricks at day and breaking his back at night. He had to go above and beyond, to reach out over the anger, the pain and humiliation he endured in his mind and body for the sake of 43 million souls he felt responsible for. He had to grant pardon, not only with his lips but with mind and heart to reconcile both sides, both races. Madiba [that was his clan name and that's how he was called by his close friends], betrayed and abandoned by his wife, estranged from his children, was misunderstood but he had a goal and a resoluteness in his heart. At one point in time, feeling the rage of his people against the national rugby team which depicts the old South Africa, he tells them: "you chose me as your leader, now let me lead you", in a handwritten letter he tells the captain of the Springboks in the words of Henley William Ernest: "I'm the master of my fate, I'm the captain of my soul.", in a tv interview nagged by the sports anchorman about his support for any team against the Springboks, he says: "In times of change, a leader must change", thus outlining that his position has changed. His attitude and the embodiment of his personality inspired the South African National Rugby team and they won the rugby world cup.
     I still think sports movie are overrated but INVICTUS is one of a kind and one thing is undeniable about Sports, just like music, it breaks barriers and brings people together.
     Thus said, can someone say: WORLD CUP 2010 SOUTH AFRICA HERE I COOOMMMMME!!!

All The Single Ladies... and Gentlemen

2009-12-19T09:21:00.000-05:00

A friend of mine sent me this video and I thought I would share it with you here. A solution that makes sense, notice I said A solution and I think it's a very important one. Here he talks most about the ladies but I think it goes the same for any man.

Hear Me Out

2009-12-16T14:41:00.001-05:00

It's a feeling of confusion
It comes upon when you face a very important decision
It's about your wife
It's about your life
It's one thing to know what's right
And another to do what's right
And wrong upon wrong does not right the wrong
That's the only domain where the mathematical formula doesn't apply
Unless there's an intervention of the God on High
But who believes in him again nowadays
We go to church, we sing, we shout, we pray and praise
It just seems that He'd rather get away from us
Leaving us to our demise with no choice but to rely on others: Orpheus, Morpheus or Zeus
It's not a cry for help nor one for explanation
You've already shown us you prefer inaction
We just want you to pay attention invisible Friend
We used to be offended by that but it actually makes sense.
We get it especially when the situation is tense
Any other time, we let it slide
We convince ourselves this works for us and we glide
We glide like on a moon ride
The ride is not always smooth, the other day we ran into a bump
Guess what we did, we jumped
We shouldn't have cuz we broke an arm, a leg and got a bruise on the head
And now we fear the things ahead
Total panic in the ranks
And all we see are blanks
Please bring us some color
Bring us some seemliness of order
How long again should we wait
"Soon, soon, soon", we bet
But who are we kidding here
When are we going to get there
What is our destiny
what do you have for us in the near vicinity
Are you going to mirror us the promise land
Just like you did Moses
Please answer us
Don't send us to Orpheus, Morpheus or Zeus

Wife of Yesterday - Today & Future: Which Are You?

2009-12-16T13:33:00.000-05:00

Practice What You Preach

2009-12-15T15:40:00.001-05:00

No no no, this is not one of those sermons. This is real stuffs, just enjoy the music

So what do you want to do
I’m here, baby, I’m ready, baby
I’m waitin’ on you
Believe me, I am patiently waitin’ on you

Yeah, there’s something wrong with me
Every time I’m alone with you
You keep talkin’ ‘bout you lovin’ me
Hey, babe, your foreplay just blows my mind
So why don’t we stop all the talkin’, girl
Why don’t we stop wastin’ time

I’ve had my share of lovers
Some say I’m damn good
And if you think you can turn me out
Baby, I wish that you would

‘Cause you keep tellin’ me this and tellin’ me that
You say once I’m with you, I’ll never go back
You say there’s a lesson that you wanna teach
Well, here I am, baby, practice what you preach

(I’m tellin’ you this and tellin’ you that)
(‘Cause once I’ve been with you, you’ll never go back)
(There is a lesson that I’m gonna teach)
Well, here I am, baby, practice what you preach

Yeah, it’s just you and me
So many things I can do to you
And so many ways I can please
Hey, hey, hey, it’s your move, girl
Why don’t you start turning down the lights
And show me what just you can do, hey, baby

I’ve had my share of lovers
Some of them were damn good
But if you think you can turn me out
Girl I just wish that you would

‘Cause you keep tellin’ me this and tellin’ me that
You say once I’m with you, I’ll never go back
I know there’s a lesson that you wanna teach
Here I am, baby, practice what you preach

(I’m saying this because it’s a fact) Is it
(Once I’ve been with you, you’ll never go back) Really
(There is a lesson that I’m gonna teach)
Well, I'm still waitin practice what you preach

(I’m telling you this and I'm telling you that)
(‘Cause once I’ve been with you, you’ll never go back) Show me
(There is a lesson that I’m gonna teach)
Here I am, practice on me

(I’m saying this because it’s a fact) Is it
(Once I’ve been with you, you’ll never go back) Do it
(There is a lesson that I’m gonna teach)
Girl, I’m still waiting, practice what you preach, ooh

(I’m telling you this and telling you that)
(‘Cause once I’ve been with you, you’ll never go back)
(There is a lesson that I’m gonna teach)
Here I am, girl, practice on me

(I’m saying this because it’s a fact) Is it
(Once I’ve been with you, you’ll never go back) Really
...

I Had A Lover Who Didn't Love Me Back

2009-12-14T10:46:00.001-05:00

I had a lover
Who did not love me back
I did everything that a guy could do
I couldn't do more than that
I felt so helpless
I thought things would never change
Then I saw my girl walking down on the avenue
One day I said, I wanna talk to you

I wasn't afraid to cry
Emotion was in my eyes
She took me on a natural high
When I said, I love you girl of mine
And then she said, I love you back
She loves me back

I had a lover
Who did not love me back
I bought her candy canes and dolls and flowers
And I took her to Coney Island
Now, who could do more than that?
It was a problem
Until on that fateful day
I saw my girl walking down on the avenue
She said, I wanna talk to you

She wasn't afraid to cry
Emotion was in her eyes
She took me on a natural high
I said, I love you girl of mine
And then she said, I love you back
She loves me back

I don't think our love's gonna lose
There ain't no way
I'm taking my time to convince her
That love's here to stay, hey
Love is here to stay because
She loves me back

We weren't afraid to cry
Emotion was in our eyes
She took me on a natural high
I said, I love you girl of mine
And then she said, I love you back
She loves me back

Independent Women

2009-12-10T12:23:00.001-05:00

Independent Women: Their general characteristics are: educated, professional (having a career going), ambitious, financially independant, they got their own stuffs by their own means, and they're single. For this type of woman, you can't impress her w/ flowers, a new car, a new house, shoes or clothes, all those things will sure sparkle her interest but what will definitely hook her up is your patience, your attention, your emotional support, your integrity, you must have your game on and going.
Now ladies, if you think you have a good fish in the tank, show him that you're more than that outer shield. Put your feminine side on display: serve him, literally serve him. Bring him his glass of water without him asking, remove his shoes, take his hand and press it against your heart for just 30 secs while looking at him in his eyes (you can add to the list). Those are very simple gestures that say a lot about how you feel, but it can be very difficult especially if you have an ego as wide and big as...(you finish the sentence). Don't let that ego whisper in your head: "you're being vulnerable...don't let him see you like this... and what if..." and it goes on.
I don't know exactly how this following story ties in this post. There used to be this friend of mine complaining about his then ex-girlfriend how possessive, clinging and over-jealous she could be. And I would tell him why wouldn't she be clinging? You gave her everything, you brought her here, you gave her shelter and food, you found a way for her to continue with school, you clothed her, you bought her a car. If I had a man like that in my life, if he says "Jump!", I'll ask him "how high?", for there is no greater love in display as the one you've shown her.
Just to tell you ladies, a guy does something like that for you, don't let him go. Stay tight the best you can. I'm not saying that you must alter your personality to please him, all I'm saying is true love (for those who believe in it) rarely comes along our way, so if and when it comes, hang on to it.
Don't be plain stupid like some. Seriously, true story: this guy meets this gal, a few months after she gets into a car crash and her car is totaled. The guy goes ahead, takes a loan in his name and buy her a newer car. Then he forgoes his own school, to help her pay for hers. They finally become Mr&Mrs same last name, then she cheats on him with s.o he knows and who turns out to be the husband of one of his friends, lol, one would think that the woman be wise enough to repent and change her ways. As I stated, don't be stupid. Have discernment, be wise and recognize when you have the real thing in your life. Same goes for you guys, when you have the real deal, don't ditch it out, don't be stupid.
It's good to be independent but it's even better to know how to land in the right middle. It's all about borrowing enough from your left and right brain. As good as it is to know how to think logical and make sound judgments, it's also good to know when to humble yourself and even cry.
Now don't do the latter when the guy has already shown you in every way possible that he doesn't want you. Don't do this when the guy tells you he's all confused and diffused. Don't do that when the guy speaks of his ex- using terms such as witch or the like although he spends quality time with her every day behind your back.
Remember you still have your dignity, your self esteem, and yes, your pride :).

Here or There?

2009-12-07T16:27:00.002-05:00

I've been speaking lately w/ some fellow Cameroonians. Good friends that I've known for a while and some that I've never laid my eyes on. Got a few friends like that, we've been talking for over half a decade, sent each other virtual congratulations or thank you notes or sorry messages. Anyway I'm getting beside the point here. Our discussion was about finding the "one", should we look among ourselves or should we go back home? One of them was for looking among ourselves because it could be risky to go home and get someone. He had some stories to support his arguments. Apparently there was this brother who, by desperation went back home in Cameroon to marry. A few months after he had brought his wifey here, they got into an argument and next thing we know the wife started talking about divorce saying to herself that she could do better (meaning she could get a better man). Another one told me of a story of another brother who did the same thing, went back home to get wife. Wife got here, the time to get her stuffs together so she could start going to school and work, she met a fellow brother from the same village as her. They would meet and talk and meet and talk until she became his wife instead. The brother who had brought her here, is rotting in prison now for assaulting the guy who took his wife.
The other friend was for going back home and get a wife there, said he has looked around himself and realized that most coupled that are in the community got their spouses back home and things seemed to be working out just fine. Even if they have their little shenanigans, it stays between them, nobody in the community knows anything. To each example he was giving I was able to pinpoint a drawback albeit I had to admit that he had made a good observation. In our little Cameroonian community I knew of two couples (or should I say one and half?) that had met here, got married and are still together. The first couple both are Cameroonians, the second, the wife is from Cameroon and the husband is from a different African country.
A friend back home was surprised that the diaspora (both genders) would call and ask to look for a wife or husband for them and said "why don't you guys get married amongst yourselves?"
The complaint I've often heard about the sisters is that the brothers are not serious, they just want to "cut the grass" and leave. The brothers on the other hand complain about the sisters' "Evolution", in other words they're too europeanized. One thing I would like to say in our defense, especially for us sisters that have left home very young to come to this land of opportunities, is this: A lot of us have left the niche of our families back home early in age to go study abroad and most of us were half baked. Our personality was still in the works and along the process we picked up a little of here and there and became a generation of young people who at times, feel lost within the realm of the culture we've tried so hard to embrace to some degrees and even more lost within the one we've left behind. We try the best we can, we make do with what we have and with whom we've become. We expect our husbands to take care of us, to do their share of chores, to open the door when we go out, we've become Camericains or must I say Afrimericans.
Anyway, all of this got me to think, how many Cameroonian sisters have gone back home to marry then brought their husband here? I didn't know of any but i chatted with my BFF Prince Hamilton aka bro, and according him the ratio of success of sisters who went back home to marry and brought their hubby here is largely higher than the one of brothers who did the same thing. Their husbands stayed and they are happy.
Having discussed this particular subject with my single friends and asking them why they wouldn't consider such an option, their reasons vary and go from the brothers wouldn't understand our lifestyle here, they may just use us to come here and then leave us to it requires so much sacrifice to get them here, prep them to the pace of life here...etc. Those reasons are so deep rooted to their mind that some of them decided to get married to their job and to cuddle at night with their teddy bear and a glass of wine.
And this is to all my singles very accomplished friends, let's not lose courage. We got where we are working our behind off to reach this level, we're happier than before when we were going through hardship. Why can't we consider doing the same thing to reach a higher happiness? If it requires to go back and grab that good cassava and bring him here, why not? After all happiness comes with a price, how much are we willing to pay?

Addicted to Soap Operas

2009-12-03T21:29:00.002-05:00

DAYUUUMMMMMM I LOVE SOAP OPERAS!! I think I'm addicted, no SERIOUSLY!! I've been watching General Hospital religiously for close to a decade now!! Break ups, hook ups, break downs, make up, get together, laughs and tears, marriage and divorce, life stories that sometimes mirror my own. Soap operas, they provide a fantasy land, an escape into Jason muscular arms and those cheeks bones when he kisses Sam (I'm jealous of you!!), a pleasure for the eyes when the big cross tattoo in display on Sonny's arms (hum hum good, yummy yummy). Oooh and when Dominic or Johnny is bare torso, oh lord Jesus, you took some time to build them men.

The Blind Side

2009-12-03T15:35:00.001-05:00

I love movies, that's my favorite distraction. I love them so much that I absolutely do not mind going to watch them alone. On thanksgiving day, I got to bring one of my dear friends with whom I shared some glorious days. We watched the Blind Side Starring Sandra Bullock. The title could be renamed The Power of Compassion. A very compelling story that makes us count our blessings, makes us appreciate how good we have it and when we realize how much it is, we must share it. On her way home, riding along with her family, Mrs Touhys notices Big Mike walking down the streets under a non clement weather, with no coat on. She takes him to her home, gives him food and a shelter, hires a private tutor so he can bring his grades up and end up being his legal guardian. Only a heart filled with compassion can accomplish such a thing. Mrs Touhys was a tough cookie too who could stand up to thugs in the streets and yell her way through situations but would scarcely show her feelings.
Provided I live a long time, I've often thought that one day I will adopt (that is of course my partner is on board with it), or at least be a mentor to someone, be a positive influence in their life. Not everybody is cut out to adopt (remember the story of that woman who returned her adopted infant because she couldn't feel any connection?), for some is a good idea worth entertaining, for others it's unconceivable. And not all adoption stories end up like Big Mike who became a successful football Pro. In fact, there's been cases where the adoptees turned against their adopters or would cause such grief that the adopter would regret to have adopted. We heard stories of fathers who ended up sleeping w/ their adoptee child.
Regardless of your stance on the subject, adopters deserve a good round of applause. For not only does it take compassion, it requires some altruism to get out of our cocoon of a life to throw somebody a line.

Who Are You?

2009-12-03T14:11:00.000-05:00

I think each one of us has DID (Double Identity) a good side and an evil twin. What amazes me is how unexpectedly evil some people can be. I mean it's one thing to know it theoretically and quite another to experience it first hand especially if you're at the receiving end. At 12pm they call you mah luv, my darling and at 12 am they throw you out of their house. At 12 pm they apologize and bitterly regret their actions at 12 am they justify it and tell you that you deserve it. At 12 pm you call them baby or some made up sweet name, at 12 am you call the police on them and they're sent to jail. At 12 pm you sent them to therapy and at 12 am you're willing to go to therapy with them. At 12 pm they're entertaining the idea of getting a restraining order against you and 12 am they're allowing you back in their life with phone calls and secret rendez-vous.
This world is so messed up, to the point that I truly believe I've seen it all and I've lived (and keep living) my life the best way I possibly could (can) given my circumstances.
As Plautus used to say "There is no perfect woman, it's a matter of comparative badness, bro", yeah or, there is no perfect guy, it's a matter of comparative evilness.

She's an Onion: You need to peel her

2009-11-27T10:15:00.000-05:00

I use onions for almost all of my cooking: spinach, stew, peanut soup, broiled fish, beans and more. It's a thing I got from my growing up and I would always get assigned the task to cut the onion. The process will bring tears to my eyes but with perseverance the end result will be amazing. There are people who are like onions, you have to peel them, tear them out piece by piece in order to discover their inner self. And sometimes depending of the type of onions (there are red, white, yellow and green onions), you have to peel more layers to get to the good, sweet and delicious part. But you ought to be patient and sometimes the process may bring tears, and smell on your hands. And if it's too much to handle, you can take a little break, wash your face and come back to finish peeling and cutting them. Or you can just abandon the task and decide it is not worth it. Isn't how we often react in the face of adversity whether it is with our career, school or relationships with our significant other? Sometimes we hear of a good career opportunity, the pay is very attractive then we decide to give it a shot and we realize the amount of work, the sacrifice, the whole training process we have to go through and we ask ourselves, is it really worth it? Some of us get discouraged and give up. We give ourselves all kinds of reasons why we shouldn't follow through. We decide our prior condition was better than before we even got involved in the whole process.

Others, however, are persistent. They keep in mind the price, the benefits they're going to reap. One big benefit that onions bring is its effectiveness to fight against conditions such as heart disease. Onions contain chemical compounds believed to have anti-inflammatory, anticholesterol, anticancer, and antioxidant properties such as quercetin. If you know you'll get so much more in return in exchange of a few tears that a peeling process may bring, would you give up easily on that opportunity, on that child, on that love one? Would you stop at the first, second or third tear? Or would you go all the way through?
"She's an Onion, you need to peel her" it's a phrase used by a husband to describe his wife. The wife had this tendency to never show her feelings, she would put over this mask and then run to hide. You had to give her a proper hug for her to open up. The wife was a tough woman, she could stand up to thugs, yell at football coaches (nobody yells louder than these folks!) but when it came to show and express her feelings, that was her black beast and you had to peel her. Just peel her and she would crack open.

Advices of A Mother to Her Daughter

2009-11-18T10:58:00.004-05:00

Life is zero and you need to learn how to simplify things that happen.
Why would you stop eating because of a man? On the contrary, you should be taking care of yourself even more.
Cook something that you really like, mix some tomatoes with meat and onions and it'll be ready in five min.
Remember if a man is for you, he won't go anywhere. He'll wait for you. You won't have to do anything, just be yourself and stay nice after all it's a woman characters that are more attractive.
Go out, people who stay inside nobody sees them.
If a guy talks to you, just reply with the utmost kindness without showing much interest.
As you know, here in Africa, it's the man who should go towards a woman not the other way around.
You know marriage is not an end in itself, you see all those couples you think there's grand happiness?
Besides, if there's no husband you can still have your child.
Be careful not to embrace that country culture.
Know that you're still young and have nothing to worry about.
Un de perdu dix de retrouves (advice from a father to his daughter)

Thank you mom, I love you!

From Jesus [De]Generation to Jesus Realization

2009-11-10T12:30:00.002-05:00

We were a bunch of Jesus freak as would i have said someone i knew in my past life. So full of zeal, preaching the gospel, dancing, praying, singing, we loved and liked giving our love back to anybody who wanted some. We had committees to organize agapes, our favorite singers where Don Moen and Ron Kenoly among others. We believed God was bigger than us and could take off any obstacle on our path, we believe our faith would move mountain (it had in some cases). If someone insulted us because of our faith, we were happy because we knew were getting persecuted for Jesus. We were young, we were happy, we were innocent. We were smart too, getting our homeworks done, our chores and passing our exams. We were Jesus Generation.
Today, some of us have become doctors, engineers, bankers, programmers, researchers, even preachers. Some got married, got divorced, others got married but couldn't have babies pleaded with God to finally find "answers" from a marabout. Some thought their own husband were useless and found solace in someone's else husband. Others left church once they realized they didn't need God to make it. Some left church because the church did not approve of their fiancée, others stayed in church in spite of everything. Some have developed their own philosophy about God and others have chosen to ignore the bible and live on their own terms. We have become Jesus Degeneration.
Some of us got so beaten up, inside and out, up and down but are still there, we're there hoping for better days, we're there praising for what we have and that will never be taken away from us, we're there praying for wisdom not to repeat the same mistakes, we're there picking ourselves up, dusting ourselves off, we're there standing proud of who we are and we still have joy. We're aspiring to be Jesus REALIZATION!!

Happy Endings

2009-11-08T09:02:00.008-05:00

I couldn't concentrate at work, having had little to no sleep the nights before and I needed something to cheer me up. I opened up the NYTimes and found this rather misleading title: "Happy Endings" and after a quick read, here was I, sinking even further down than I already was.
I started reviewing my life and I came to the conclusion that I have lived the best life I could have possibly lived given my circumstances and that I was ready to pass away. I mean I've known sadness at its deepest level, I've been through hell and back, I've known joy and great happiness. I've made my parents proud, very proud. I've taken care of my family, I've done charity work, I've preached the gospel, so somewhere somehow I must have impacted someone's life in a positive way. I've watched all kinds of movies: trashy, dramatic, thriller, comedy, suspense, horror, silent, I've even watched porn (lol, Lord forgive me if I have sinned against you.). I've fallen in love, then gotten up, fallen out of love. I've given shelter to people who didn't deserve it. I've accepted and been accepted, I've rejected and been rejected. I've tithed, still do. My life has taken some type of existence. There's nothing new under the sun
Yesterday someone expressed their undying love for me. While all I wanted to do was to express my undying impatience with a homework I couldn't seem to complete. At the end, life has no meaning so does my mom tell me. We must take life as simple as it comes. Easy said than done. Yes, life has no meaning in itself, but mine has taken some type of existence and now I'm ready, ready to go, ready to leave.

Am I guilty?

2009-10-09T12:26:00.001-04:00

I think I was born with an older soul than my young body. I have a weakness for oldies: soul, funk, blues and some good modern jazz. I heard this song on the radio not long ago and it just frizzled my hair all over my body (in a good way) and as soon as I got my laptop I had to YouTube it (Thank God for YouTube!) and there it was! A very soul smothering song about an affair between him and Mrs Jones. Now my peeps know how I feel about affairs, infidelity and the like. But this song has something to it that gets me to a point that I really enjoy it and can even picture myself karaokeing it. So my question is, although I'm viral anti-cheating activist, but still savor this funky song along with the lyrics, does that make me guilty of infidelity?

Let's Make Love Before We Say Farewell

2009-10-09T11:31:00.002-04:00

My dad and I have this thing that we pull when we visit each other, we steal one another's CDs. I often joke with him that he should bequeath his CDs to me. On my recent trip to the motherland, I got this fantastic collection of oldies French songs. And the other day as I was driving to work, I turned my player and this song came on, sending me way back in the days when I was between 10 and 12 years old. As the words was distilling in the air, I paid attention to their meaning and it cracked me up. Here's an example by Jeanne Manson, who surprisingly is American but has spent so many years in France that she had come to espouse the French way of "coloring" love, the title is (literally translated):

Let's make love before we say farewell

Let's make love before we say farewell
[before we say farewell]
Let's make love since it's over between us
[since it's over between us]
Let's make love as if it was the first time
One more time you and I since love is leaving
[x2]
I can forgive you for everything and pretend to forget
I would like to close my eyes and do everything you want
I can share you and even plead with you but don't leave
I'll make myself so small that you won't see me
I'll be so tender that tomorrow you'll love me
I'll be all love and all to you but don't leave
[chorus] x2

Are You [very] Happy?

2009-09-16T11:39:00.006-04:00

The other day I discovered that I was very happy. Dr Watson, my leadership teacher made us take this online assessment with a requirement not to think too much about the answer, but to select exactly what was on our mind at that particular moment. And one of the question was, would consider yourself to be: a) very unhappy b) somewhat unhappy c) somewhat happy d) very happy.
This prompted me to check in an online dictionary the definition of happiness and according to dictionary.com happiness is the quality or state of being happy [please note that happy is defined as being delighted, pleased, or glad, as over a particular thing], and a second definition associates it to good fortune, pleasure, contentment or joy.
These attempts to define what qualifies someone as a happy person remain quite obscure in expressing exactly the embodiment of happiness. My own take on the subject would describe happiness as the homogeneous fusion, the chemical combustion between your mind, your spirit and soul that produces a scent of joy, laughter/smile and peace inside and outside your inner being. The key note in here is PEACE. Peace with God (for those who believe in him), peace with yourself and peace with the people surrounding you.
As I was asking myself why I do think I'm very happy, I started considering my life in a completely different angle. I tried to look beyond the obvious that are often cited as pinnacle of happiness: professional accomplishment(income), intellectual capacity (education/school), social ties (elite club or friends), filial relationship (family). I discovered that although i have no assets of my own, I have a roof over my head; although my car belongs to the bank, I have not had any worry about going and coming back from anywhere; although I'm not perfect, I'm surrounded by people that have truly accepted me for who I am and do not hesitate to tell me when I'm wrong; although I'm nearly perfect (yes you read it correctly, nearly perfect :) ) I recognized there's always room for improvement. I have reached a balance of understanding myself and accepting myself and the circumstances I could not change. For instance, it had taken me a long time, despite the excruciating evidences, to accept the fact that I now was a statistics among the millions failed, irreparable relationships . Today having crossed that bridge not only liberated me but empowered me into reinventing myself. I wake up in the morning with peace in my head and peace in my heart.
Happiness is about leading every battles thrown on our paths, celebrating all victories, mourning some losses and still staying true to ourselves, true to the values that we abide to.
So are you [very] happy?

Are you a Closeted Christian?

2009-08-13T11:04:00.003-04:00

Are you a closeted Christian? Or have you become one? I remember back in the days about 10 to 15 years ago, a whole generation of us was boiling for the Lord. Preaching and proclaiming the name of the Lord, trying to be a model at home and in school til the extend one will be ashamed to say "I believe in God" if they hadn't passed their exams. We all belonged to a group called CLUC (Colleges Lycees et Universites pour Christ) -- Colleges, High schools and Universities for Christ. We would all volunteer either for singing, dancing or acting for the Glory of our God. We wouldn't hesitate to share the word with our fellow classmates. We were young, innocent and filled with an unqualifiable zeal. Over a decade later, some of us have changed or let their circumstances cloud and mask the beauty of who they are. We get married and divorced in or out of the yoke, we sleep around with other people's husbands, we consult charlatans to fight witchcraft, we call other people "unstable", we resort to doubtful means to get what we want, we put aside the notion of goodness and forgiveness to embrace revenge and Schadenfreude, we stop talking about God (oh my gosh what is s/he going to think of me!!) and start gossiping, we forge an acceptable image of ourselves that is pleasing to whomever doesn't question or dare rebuking us (oh, don't judge me!! You have no rights). We lie, we hide, we no longer speak the truth, how can we when have left that Truth evade us? We took our Christianity and put it in a closet. The amazing thing about all that is that, it's not too late to take it out, dust it off and wear it again. Yes there will be (there always is) people calling you all sorts of names: Jesus Freak, bible thumper...etc. But guess what, those same people wish they had an anchor to hold on to, some hope to cling on to. Natty, a friend of mine, was telling how much she loves job and God and doesn't hesitate to say so to her colleagues at work and of course some of them ridiculize her but yet they turn to her for prayer or advices when they need some.
It's difficult to live that pure life that the bible promotes, certainly impossible to put into practice some of the basics like forgiveness but God assures us that "He will make us walk on the path of righteousness for his name's sake", we just have to be willful. Are you a closeted [wo]man of God, it's time to come out of that closet and proclaim with me: "I'M A SEXY [WO]MAN OF GOD AND I KNOW IT!!"

Keep your zipper up and your legs crossed: Ramblings about Infidelity

2009-07-29T14:30:00.004-04:00

I'm getting tired of reading those half stories about senators and governors unable to keep their pants zipped idem for those women who don't have enough self respect to cross their legs (geez those men are married!!). And what's this joke about resigning to "focus on their family"??
1st- Cheating isn't sexy at all, it's a big turn off
2nd - Cheating is like a packet of mixed nuts embodied in lies, deceit, duplicity, ruse, tricks and more lies, and it's not sexy at all. I remember this one, she was cheating on her man with her friends husband, the friend's name was erica and the husband Eric. So to prevent from spilling the beans by mistake, she made sure to change her friend to her middle name Caitlin in her email address book, that way when sending an email to Eric, the intellisense email feature would not pick up "Erica". But Karma being what it is, she got caught anyway...
3rd - Cheaters are Only repentant after they get caught, never before.
4th - if cheating is a deal breaker for you, you are free to divorce (even if you're a christian) -- pastors in church dislike talking about it but the fact of the matter is that the bible gives it as a leeway to get out of the covenant
5th - If a guy/gal cheats to get in a relationship with her/his partner in crime, it's just a matter of time before the perpetrator resumes back with their schemes. ex: he was married once, cheated on his wife, divorced, got remarried and this time around, the wife cheated on him. Karma, uh?
6th - It's not the act in itself, the intercourse with the "forbidden fruit" that bothers much the "cheatee", it's the lies and the trust that's broken that usually engenders the irreparable aka 'irreconcilable" differences.
7th- reconciliation (for those who seek one) is not impossible after that kind of destructive behavior, however it requires humility and lots and lots of love.
8th- Come on guys, keep those pants zipped, after all the hole is the same, isn't it?
Putting your reputation, job and health at risk, chasing after the same va-jayjay you have at home, I don't know if I should give it to you or decry your plain stupidity.

Paris: Once again

2009-07-26T22:42:00.009-04:00

I couldn't finish my trip of the year without a stop to the city of love!! Paris, sans toi je serai pris!!
Yes, I love Paris, the multicultural and multiracial dynamics found in metros, trains and RERs, the unique fashion sense that animate French people, the peculiar architecture: an extreme amount of blocks and tons of concrete packed together that make Paris Paris, hum and above all the French cuisine. This was my second time (as an adult) being in the country of Sarko. I had to go back to that place where I had this delicious salade niçoise and of course the bread. There is this slimmest french bread usually used for sandwiches which at first sight seems like a teaser but it's so fulfilling that one piece is enough to hold you for the whole day. And this time around, I had the pleasure to visit the famous French museum: Le Louvre. It's funny how cold it can be in June over there I was freezing despite my oversize sweater (clearly it wasn't mine)!!
With the cultural diversity comes some tensions among the French that they need to resolve. For instance, the immigration ("Les Sans Papiers") issue, the government needs to pass some type of affirmative action that would garantee a fair l representation of its social diversity, reduce discrimation and bring value to the country as a whole. A problem that most immigrants face in that country is that it's quite difficult to find a job even after graduating from school unless you're in a specialized field like I.T. (where they have an acute need).
I've always had a little hard time rating the French on their level of kindness comparing to Americans. I mean Americans, they will hold the door for you (btw, I don't like when s.o waits for me at the door because it always makes me rush so I won't waste their time thus show some kind of insensitivity to their kindness), say thank you when you hold the elevator for them. Well, I had this little incident. I was heading to the metro/train/RERs (I can't never distinguish which is which) station with two suitcases, one carry on troller and my back pack. Now I got stuck at the "gate", the plastic (sometimes steel) double door with a scanner on the side that helps verify the metrotaker ticket validity. I had to figure out to pass through the door with all my luggages at once. So I had the brightest idea to ask for help. "Excuse-me...uh...Excusez-moi, bonjour...", head down my potential scapegoat passed by without a look in my direction, idem for the second and the third. With this rate of "success" I convinced myself that I was probably speaking too low (I've accused of that before!). I managed to speak louder and finally got the attention of an individual, I could see a little hesitation on his face "Bonjour, pouvez-vous m'aider avec un de mes bagages?" I asked "euh oui bien sur" he replied and picked up my carryon trolley, the smallest of all, lol. French are a little like us here in the States. They like having a good time under the sun, seated in their bistros or cafes, chatting with their friends and family while sipping a beverage. And just like we get in our cars and race through the highways, they bow their heads down and race through the metros.
I love traveling and as I read somewhere "le monde est comme un livre ceux qui ne voyagent pas n'en lisent qu'une page"---"The world is like a book and those who don't travel just read one page"
I'm already wondering where I would be next year, God's willing :).

Cameroon: 8 1/2 years later

2009-07-05T18:25:00.012-04:00

It was an unqualified feeling that immersed me as soon as we landed at the Nsimaleng Airport. Despite the running AC, I could already feel the humidity in the air. The first few days after a complete sentiment of disconnection, did I start to truly appreciate the beauties, simplicities and changes of the country where I was born and I left almost 9yrs ago today. One shocking thing that I realized is that things don't change much over there. After almost a decade I found the woman (my "asso" as called in our slang) to whom I like buying cassava sticks (locally known as "bobolos") selling the same bobolos at the same spot in the market; idem for my asso of oranges and my asso of "taro" (some type of roots usually accompanied with the yellow soup hum...hum..good).
Here is in images the different places that reflect the culture of my home country Cameroon.

I saw friends and people from my old church, went to a hype club called the Maeva. On the right is our Michael Jackson impersonator.

As for the video below, it features a choreography based on a very popular song "On Attend l'enfant" (we're waiting for the baby) about a woman who tells her man she's pregnant (for over 15 months) in order for him to take care of her everyday by buying her a very well spiced charbroiled fish with a bottle of beer each day of the pregnancy (Doctor's prescription). Enjoy!!

Who's BAD?

2009-06-26T11:41:00.006-04:00

I've been wanting to post an article about my recent trip overseas but procrastination got hold of me. However, today is a special day, a very sad day filled with deep sorrow. The King of Pop is no longer with us. Many of us born in the 80's already knew him before even knowing how to read or count. I'll leave out to the pundits to tell us about his life, success, fame and glory, and to each of one us the lessons to draw from this sudden death.
He was many things to many people. Below is embedded, in my opinion, one of the funniest video clip about the great MJ interpreted by the great Eddie Griffin.

A big thank you to P.O. for sharing this with me almost a year ago

Is Motherhood for me?

2009-05-06T10:19:00.004-04:00

With all the frenzy going around about Mother's Day and a recent conversation that I had with a friend telling me that I "needed to start having my kids" because, oh my gosh, I'm getting near the big three zero. It all made me think whether or not I was ready for kids or if I even wanted any. It was easier to answer the latter, "Do I want any kids?", at some point, yes I think. Now "am I ready for any?"
This is a capital point for me. Financially, yes I'm ready to have one kid or two, and even to face an eventual single motherhood. Emotionally? That's the million bucks question!! I'm such a conservative at heart that I've always thought, even til nowadays that, should/must I bring a child into this world, I'd better make sure s/he doesn't have a deadbeat dad. Now, the only way (at least in my book) to accomplish that is through the traditional way: find Mr. Right, or at least "Mr. Good Enough" as is advocating Lori Gottlieb. I had been in a serious relationship before, and it even got to the point where we talked about babies, until I chickened out right before I found out my then "Mr Right" was, hum...can't find the correct adjective, so let's just say I couldn't imagine him any longer being the father of my child or any of my children (I must admit, that was a very smart decision).

So here I am, soon closing the gap with the big three zero and I'm still zen, no worries. My friend Anita often jokes with me that's because my biological clock hasn't started ticking yet. Maybe she's right. It's not like I lack any incentives in my close circle, members of my family have had their babies in their early twenties, my own little sister has followed their paths. I suppose one day, I'll be a mother one way or another. But I totally disagree with the notion that "I need to start have a kid" because of my age. Push come to shove, and I never find Mr Right or Mr Good Enough for me and my potential child, then I'll adopt, and I'll adopt a white kid.

Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there!!

Why are Divorces Always so Ugly?

2009-04-17T05:01:00.007-04:00

Why are Divorces always so ugly? I mean, after all, these are two people who at one point in time professed their [(un)dying] love for one another, but here there are at each other throat. Could it be because one of the concerned parties can't get passed whatever "irreconcilable differences" there may be? Or could it be the desire for payback? Depending of what's driving a couple to divorce, there's always a loser in the whole ordeal, whether it's a loss of money, self-worthiness, or standards, you name it, there's always a loser. Personally, I do not believe in divorce (especially when kids are involved), however there are deal breakers that no matter what end of the stick you're holding, the relationship not only does not stand a chance, but isn't even worth trying to savage. If that's case, meaning, if from the get go a relationship is unsavageable, shouldn't the protagonists involved find a way to "work things out" in the goal of an "amicable" dissolution? I realize this could be difficult to achieve especially if one is trying to take advantage of the other.
Stats show that the divorce rate here in the U.S is about 50% and the number one reason of divorce here in the U.S is infidelity followed by finances. If there's one chance over two for a marriage to end up in dissolution, would we be better off getting married assuming, accepting, tolerating that our partner can cheat at any time but still decide to stay? I was discussing it with one of my dearest friends and the answer was that, may be we should. And I added, well it that's the case, why don't we ensure that our partner always carry on them a condom? At least that way, when it happens he or she, thus we are protected from any potential STDs. I guess we all agreed that was pushing it a little too far.

We're in this love together

2009-04-15T14:17:00.002-04:00

To you my brother that I love so much.
To you my sister that is so special to me.
To you my friend, where would I be without you?
And to you, the one and only one who completes me...
We're in this love together
We got the kind that lasts forever

I've been listening to

2009-04-13T22:44:00.002-04:00

These are the new stuffs in the block, from my most favorite to the least, enjoy!! Very sexy song, ideal for strip tease session w/ your significant other:

A new beauty, with a voice similar to J-Hud, the next big thing, I bet!!

Fantaisies ...

2009-04-10T18:23:00.001-04:00

She makes out with a Caucasian guy
She has a tattoo around her belly button
She's dating a tattooed guy
A very rich tattooed guy
She's riding in a convertible, meet a bunch of stupid guys and lifts her top up
She has a monthly appointment with her shrink
A bi-annual appointment with her dentist
She has a pair of Manolo Blahnik
And a designer bag
She's a Cover Girl

A Night in Town

2009-04-08T17:30:00.003-04:00

The good thing about starting over, is that it gives you this urge to try new things, to get out of your comfort zone to "confront the world", so to speak. So in the spirit of "starting over", I've decided to become adventurous (to some extend). First it started w/ shopping. I went to Macy's and bought a $60.00 dress (sorry folks I know we're in a recession, however I could afford it and I mean I didn't put it on my credit card!!), then I went on to Nine West and I got myself a $100.00 purse!! (this shocks me!! I NEVER did this before!! Not that I never spent 100 bucks but not on a purse!!) followed by a $50.00 pair of pumps (gorgeous!!). And that was it for that day!! Then the other night, a friend and I went to dinner, along w/ two other people in an "upscale" restaurant. [Ok, little confession here, I didn't spend a dime!! (Good, right?)]. A Three-course meal, delicious lobster with crusty calamaris, scrumptious crab cakes on a bed of corn, gumbo soup w/ crackers and these were just appetizers!! Main course a mahi mahi made a la Shang Hai with sticky rice and tasty spinach!! hum hum, heaven on earth!! Desert, a delicate sumptuous cup of chocolate cake wet w/ some triple churned vanilla ice cream!! And that was my adventure. Life was indeed good, very good. Sometimes it's just good to start over, really start over and try new stuffs!!

Do you have TRUE FRIENDS?

2009-03-12T11:00:00.004-04:00

I've been busy lately preparing myself to get into a new adventure of my own. Nevertheless, in between breaks, I afford the luxury at reading through articles and this particular one on friendship actually struck me, especially given the fact that my friend Prince Hamilton had already one of his own on the same subject.
I guess it all boils down to the quality of relationships we have. From a personal experience, a relationship becomes a lasting one if and only if both parties involved are getting any value out of it. I have a friend who has a friend for everything: one to go to shopping with, one to go party with, one to mourn and celebrate with, and one to ask advice from. (Now that I'm thinking about it, I wonder what category I fit in). The article I mention above, presents a new theory called "voluntary loneliness", according to which people choose to be lonely. The author gives an example of a neighbor who belongs to that category. And this is a different subject that I will not treat in this piece.
One thing that I thought was missing is the fact that true friendships are nurtured, nourished and balanced. It comes with loyalty and trust. It's not so much about the number of people that surrounds you, but about the quality of the relationship that ties you to each of those people. So, the question is, do you have true friends?

My death clock: a reminder

2009-02-27T11:25:00.003-05:00

Every once in a while I consult my death clock. It's like the little witch in the village that nobody likes but still keeps around just in case her predictions are right. It's a virtual tool based on some random research (truthfully, I don't even know if any research were done behind that clock) that predicts when you'll die, try it for yourself.
Sometimes it's important to remind ourselves what's important and not take tomorrow for granted. To take a step backward and contemplate, appreciate the goodness of this life. As I often hear, we only have 'One Life to live'. And more often than not, the challenge is to live a life worth living. I suppose each one of us has their own definition of a worthy life. For some it's through their jobs that they find value or give value (e.g. Doctors, Counselors, Caregivers, Pastors, Teachers etc..). And frankly as a Software Engineer who spent most of her time in front of a monitor, I find it somehow difficult to find value in it. I have no doubt I must be giving value to some third party cause I get paid for it. I'm sure there is much more to life.
There is a story in the bible about this guy who goes to some far away land and gives money to three of his servants. To the first, he hands 5 bucks (back in the days, it was a ton of money), the second 2 and the third 1. Each of them went ahead and utilize it in a very productive way but the third one buried his buck. The guy comes back from his trip and has a briefing with each one of his servants. The first two came boasting about what they did and how they earned more money, then comes the 3rd one and he says "I was afraid of you master, so I buried the money you gave me, here it is take it", needless to say the master was fulminant and fired his servant. A lot of us are like that third servant. We're afraid of life, its challenges and sometimes its rewards. We either give up, or stay so much focus on the moment with no long term perspective or we just waste our time checking out the servant with 5 bucks and lusting after what he has.
Some of us have 5 million bucks in bank, others have 5 bucks, some of us are good at one thing only while others have multiple talents. However, it's not about how much we have, it's about what we do with what we have. Regardless of the longevity of our lives, let's make them quality lives. And this is where comes the death clock. Were you to know when you'll say goodbye to this earth, what kind of life would you live?

Tyler Perry's Movies

2009-02-22T21:02:00.003-05:00

For a long time, I've wanted to write about Tyler Perry's movies. And this is one of those pieces that I never got to publish until I went a couple of days ago to watch his recent release which is currently leading the box office with $41.1million.
I just love Tyler Perry's movies. Yes, they're corny, seem like déjà vu but they have this thing that make them worth watching, they're purely enjoyable. The themes are very simplistic: Family, God, Relationships. Matters that anybody can relate to. His most recent chef d'oeuvre which is currently playing in theatre is "Tyler Perry's Madea goes to Jail", is a hilarious two tails story about a 6'5" granny that goes to jail after hauling a woman's car from a Big K's parking lot and a young woman (and this is the corny part) who finds the love of her life on the streets of prostitution. One poignant moment is a scene played by Derek Luke where he finally lets out the guilt that he has been carrying around for years and the defining scene comes where Madea (in jail) sermonizes another inmate about taking responsibility of one's actions (e.g. stop blaming your abusive father for your miseries) and forgiveness is first for oneself, then the other person.
Last year, one's of Tyler's Perry masterpiece was "Tyler Perry's The Family that Preys". Movie in which the beautiful Sanaa Lathan displays a wonderful performance of a bitchery character, a cheating woman ready to do anything to get ahead. I particularly love this quote from her mother played by the talented Alfre Woodard: "You can't find happiness by bringing deceit to other people, that's a road straight to disaster."
Perry's movies are all about essential life's values, values that serve of pillars upon which one builds their own character. They're a good kind of comedy, that anyone with a modicum of good sense would agree with the central message: God , Family (Madea's Family Reunion), Forgiveness (Madea goes to Jail), Love, Hope and Marriage (The Diary of a Mad Black Woman; Why did I get married?).

"The sadest thing in life is wasted talent, and the choices you make will shape your life forever"

Where are Africans in all this?

2009-02-11T14:57:00.004-05:00

I read today's column by Thomas Friedman, it could be easily retitled the case for a strong immigration. In his essay, in response on how to stimulate our economy, Friedman quotes Shekhar Gupta, editor of The Indian Express newspaper saying: “All you need to do is grant visas to two million Indians, Chinese and Koreans,” . And he goes on praising the Indian culture who believes that not paying mortgage is considered shameful. A thought came to my mind: what about my fellows Africans? Indians, Koreans and Chinese are recognized "worthy" of getting green cards but not Africans?
Well, not long ago I had lunch with a friend who informed me of a Madoffish scheme ran by some Kenyans here in our great metropolitan area: $15 Million in tax fraud conspiracy. You can enjoy the story here. Another source reveals the name of all the parties involved, all of them except one in their 20s or 30s, hard workers and very resourceful. After all, one needs to be very astute to come with a way to bereave Uncle Sam of $15 million U.S.
About a year ago, it was four Cameroonians who got themselves arrested in a bank robbery for half million dollar. It's truly unfortunate to see this immigrant generation whose parents (most likely) have sacrificed to send abroad to further up their education, who have taken upon themselves to give the best to their children and now have to suffer the humiliation to see their family names cited in those crimes.
There are so many of us African Immigrants here, doctors, lawyers, engineers, accountants, nurses, researchers and so on, why can't we get recognized for our hard work and have the same impact as Chinese, Indians and Koreans have in this country? I have no empathy for those criminals. They steal to keep up or impress the Joneses, to reflect a lifestyle that they'll see pass away from their jail cell. They buy big houses and big cars, my friend told me one of those Kenyans used to ride a hummer. May be a grain of sympathy could be uttered their way, were they building baseball field for universities like A-Rod.
Our economy is already in bad shape, Africa in a worse shape and we sure don't need scums like these to ruin it for everybody else who has come here in a hope of realizing their own american dream.

Let's Count Our Blessings

2009-02-07T10:13:00.003-05:00

It's true we're in a recession, although some are already in a depression. Nevertheless there are still people and things that we can be grateful about. Be grateful for that person that pulled through for you and showed you there are still some honest, genuine people out there that you can on. Be grateful for your family that is resplendent with health, joy and quality time. Talking about quality time, my folks decided to play karaoke and I joined in. I spent the entire time rolling myself on the floor with teary eyes. I think I had one of the best times of my life. I also discover something else, actually I already knew so, I can't sing!!Lol, therefore I will never leave my daytime job or convert it to a singing career. You still have a job you can hang into, be grateful. Do you have a delightful relationship with your significant other, be grateful.
In hard times it's very difficult, even arduous to think positively. To think positive does not mean to ignore your dire circumstance, but to acknowledge it and take proactive actions to dig yourself out. A year ago, I found myself in an asphyxiating situation. I couldn't eat, was sleep-deprived, lost my concentration and focus, forget about prayer: I couldn't pray either. Results, and this is according to my doctor: I had little to no iron in my body, became anemic (nearly got transfused), my liver got attacked. The only thing I could think about was 2009. Why? Because I knew by then I'd be in a much better place (actually it didn't take that long). And today not only I'm in a much better place, the place is different from what I've had envisioned a year ago, highly improved.
Granted, not all stories have a good ending like mine, nevertheless we should still remain deeply appreciative of what we have. And like Ms. Orman always says in her show: "People first, then money, then things."

Consciousness: Who We Are

2009-01-26T18:51:00.006-05:00

After a month full of intense work related stress, I've finally come around to finish my WIP (work in progress), David Lodge famous novel Thinks. Lodge's main character is called Messenger, a persona that many of us can either relate to or have acquainted. Messenger is a philosopher converted to computer science specifically AI (Artificial Intelligence). The mastering of the English language along with his passion of the human mind has landed him a job as a Director of Human Science in a university and a TV show on qualia. Lodge, in his rather fascinating rambling about human consciousness, gives a definition of it that truly struck me in a different way: "The privacy of consciousness, the secrecy of thought, it's the filing cabinet to which only we ourselves have the key." The veracity of this statement led me to muse over human relationships. We can't never come to totally, completely know someone. We may know their habits, their routine or even their character but we will never be able to permeate the hidden cage of their thoughts unless they're revealed to us. In this novel, Messenger uses a pearl recorder to chronicle his reflections and he comes to share some rather "disturbing" thoughts about his relationship with his wife. He entertains for a quick second the thought of copulating with his step daughter before dreaming of an affair with a colleague of his.
Had you known that your friend would not hesitate to steal from you or slander you, would you have still befriended them? Had the groom known that his bride would use surrogates for her sexual desires, would he have married her? I remember reading a long time ago about a survey suggesting that more than half of us would go ahead and do something totally unthinkable, were they given the reassurance they would not get caught.
Personally, I believe each and everyone of us have two sides: a good and a bad one. The truth is, at some level, in different circumstances, we're a fraud. Some of us are just better than other at hiding or revealing it.
However, we also have a free will that allows us to cultivate more of the bad or good side in us, which ultimately weighs in a lot in determining our personality. And as far as relationships are concerned, one can only take a leap of faith and hope that they've made the best choice for themselves and ultimately for those surrounding them.

Goodbye 2008!!

2008-12-31T23:05:00.004-05:00

All of the five posts that I've written, I couldn't decide which to publish, neither could I just leave the year pass away without an homage to 2008. So here are some few thoughts that I've collected here and there:
"Be careful the mistake you make as God forbids you live a long time as you'll spend the rest of life remembering them."
"Although, one doesn't always get back what they give away, one can only give what they have".
"Do not define your life only by the money you have or your job. The money can be gone in a twinkle of an eye, and you can't always be replaced at your job."
"Be kind at all time even to strangers as you never know what may come your way."
"Money is the root of most evil; if your neighbor wants to borrow some from you, always give them an amount that you won't cry after if they don't reimburse you."
"Don't be a fool, stop repeating your mistakes. I repeat, don't be a fool."
"If there's for one, there's always for two. Make a difference in someone's else life today."

My Interests for year 2008

2008-12-24T12:10:00.004-05:00

Throughout the year I've recorded, all the movies and books I read. And I intended to post this on Dec 31st, but with everything that has been planned I hope not to find myself glued to my computer on that day. So here it is my selection for this year reading and watching.

Movies:
- Vantage Point
- Mr&Mrs Smith (re-watched)
- Superbad -- stupidly funny movie
-Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins - A "feel good" movie
-Tyler Perry's Meet the Browns - another Feel good movie
- The Bank Job -- I just like Jason Statham
- 21 -- For Smart people
- Freedom Writers -- Inspirational
- Fierce People -- Quite disturbing
- Nancy Drew - Teenage stuffs
- Juno -- funny
- Forbidden Kingdom - so corny!! A better plot combining Li and Chan talents could have been written.
- Love and 4 other letter words - corny romantic black comedy
- Made of Honor - another corny romantic comedy
- Mad Money
- The Bucket List
- The Negotiator
- Irina Palm - Independent movie about a grandma who found herself whacking men off for money in order to pay for her grandson surgery.
- La TV d'Elie Kakou - French comedy, hilarious!!
- Bienvenue chez les Ch'tis - The "best" French comedy of summer 2008: Despite the French dominance in so many art domains: Culinary (hum hum, I love french cuisine!!), Cosmetics, Fashion and others, movies remain their lame duck.
- Sex and the City - One of Hollywood Hits Best romantic movie of the year!!
- What happens in Vegas
- You Don't Mess with the Zohan
- Wanted w/ Angeline Jolie
- Knocked out
- College Road Trip: stupidly funny w/ Martin Lawrence and Raven.
- Steps Brothers: I'm marked for life by Will Ferrel's nuts on a drum
- Hancock
- The Dark Knight -- astounding performance of the Joker and the cute Chris Bale
- Tropic thunder - A funny war parody w/ an astounding performance from Tom Cruise
- Traitor - Don Cheadle under a new light
- Burn After Reading - (I should've waited for this movie to come on DVD)
- Tyler's Perry the Family that Preys.
- Body of Lies - An amazing thriller with Leonardo Di Caprio
- Fireproof - For every couple on the verge of divorce
- Role Models - Americans comedy have gotten worse
- Changeling - Angelina Jolie, despite being a mother in real life, just doesn't strike as a mother type in her movies.
- Quantum of Solace - A meaner, swifter and blonder Bond than ever!! -- Adrenaline Rush.
- Four Christmases - Vaughn and Witherspoon not boring at all!!
- Transporter 3 - Totally worth my money just seeing those chocolate bars on Statham, yum yum --JB007 or JS? The choice can be hard. -- Adrenaline Rush.
- The Tale of Despereaux --> I have really grown up, I no longer enjoy cartoons as I used to.
- Seven Pounds --> such a depressing and traumatizing movie that I've dreamed of an alternative ending the next day.
-----The list is far from being done as I'm planning to watch "Doubt", "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" , "Marley & Me".
There are few movies that I would recommend: the independent one "Irina Palm" was quite intriguing, it's the type of movie that one would watch as a last resort. However it makes you wonder: "What would you have done, were you in the woman position?" Many of us, under "extreme" circumstances have found ourselves doing the exact opposite of what we believe, the negation of what we show to the world daily.
I very much enjoyed Don Cheadle in "Traitor" and DiCaprio was a bliss in "Bodies of Lies".

Books:
- Dossiers extraordinaires: part 2 by Pierre Bellemare & Jacques Antoine.
- 7 habits of highly effective people
- Le Combat Ordinaire - a cartoon about a psychoneurotic character who's been seeing a shrink for 8 years.
- Cul-de-sac by Douglas Kennedy
- Changement de Decor by David Lodge: I hate the guy, he got me w/ his ending. No actually, I think the guy hates his readers, what an ending!!
- Le Bucher des Vanites by Tom Wolfe -- English Version: The Bonfire of the Vanities. A 911 pages beast -- every page worth my time.
- Ten thousands of online articles (does this count?)
- CakePHP (would this count?) -- A complete guide to rapid development framework.
- David Lodge Thinks... By David Lodge --> Work In Progress.
From my reading collection I would highly recommend "Changing Places" which is the English version of "Changement de Decor" by David Lodge.
My selection of french books (or should I say books in French) was driven by the desire to reconnect w/ Moliere's Language. And I would like to thank my very good friend Oliver for his help on this.

What Must A Woman do During Recession?

2008-12-03T22:45:00.004-05:00

It's official, we're in a recession!! Girl, it's time for you to get in charge of your finances. Stop clinging to your baby daddy, your sugar daddy or your rent daddy and start acting like the real woman that you are. I've gathered a few tips here and there, some from friends, others from experience and thoughtful articles:
- Keep on paying yourself first whenever you get that paycheck. Whether you're making $1000.00/month, more or less, whatever the amount you can always save. I used to make $1200.00/month, that's $600 every two weeks and I would put away $100 every pay day, then locked in a short period CD account. That money sure was handy in times of turbulence.
- Call those credit card companies and request a lower interest rate. Most of them will automatically increase your line of credit but will never proactively offer you a lower rate. Why would they? The higher the rate, the more money they're making.
- Stop running your mouth on the phone, reduce your cell phone rate plan and asks your BFFs, Frienemies and sugar daddy to call after 9pm (or 7pm if you're with Sprint).
- It's definitely not the time for a new car, especially with the Big 3 going down. Fix the one you got. Forget about Toyota and Honda, credit is tight, you'll be lucky to get a loan. And even if you get the loan, you could be handed a pink slip instead of a paycheck next month. 250,000 jobs went down last month, preceded by 154,000 the month before, you think you're secure? Think again.
- Don't buy what you can't afford, buy what you need and not what you want. I know I'm guilty here, I bought a $2.50 Santa hat amongst other things.
- Don't stop funding your 401(k), get it to the minimum 6% (or whatever it is) to qualify for your company match and the extra cash, dump it in a Roth IRA.

That's it for now. Do not hesitate to add to the list and to share your own tips and tricks.

Mitt got it Right

2008-11-19T12:04:00.003-05:00

I have to admit, Former Massachussetts Gov. Mitt Romney got it right, we should let Detroit go bankrupt!! Not only does he clearly explain the problem, he also offers a solution. Please take time to read the article in its integrality on the NY Times. In time of crisis like now, experience may come handy but it's judgment that counts. Mitt got it right!!.

SERIOUSLY??

2008-11-18T22:50:00.005-05:00

Oh no, he didn't!! "Half of that sum, in a worse economy, simply isn't enough firepower", seriously?!!! You must be kidding me Hank!!(please, I hope you don't mind the familiarity, after all, I just gave you almost a trillion dollar of my money)! How much more of our tax money do you want to "rescue" your friends on Wall street? "More, baby, more" I bet that's your answer. After blatantly confessing your incompetence and I quote: "There is no playbook for responding to turmoil we have never faced", why should I trust you with more money? And don't get me wrong, as much deference I give you for your shrewdness regarding some economical matters (excluding the current crisis), as much disdain you'll get from me as you so openly mismanage this financial carthasis. Your Wall street friends should be held accountable for their unscrupulous deeds. Their assets should be seized and their offshore accounts frozen, then they should be prosecuted and be sent in vacation to ones of those FCIs. Thousands are seeing their retirement account shrink by the hour, some are forced to stay longer in the work force and others will just have to file for Chapter 11. And to your friend Bernanke who thinks "it will not be productive to disclose the names of the banks" that are lining up for a piece of the big pie (SERIOUSLY??!!) , I have a question: If any significant other of yours were to ask/borrow from you only $1million, wouldn't you inquire what they intend to do with the money and how and when you'll get it back? So what makes you think we, the tax payers, we, the people on main street, do not deserve the same respect? This is not about experience, PhDs and other big diplomas from Ivy League schools, it's about judgment, astute judgment and accountability.

Whose Bailout is it anyway?

2008-11-17T14:50:00.006-05:00

How should the Bailout money be used?
No need to be a savvy to understand the current lockdown in our economy. As a matter of fact that's Econ 101, ok granted maybe Econ 102, but it was rather bemusing to notice how long it took Mr. Treasury Secretary Henry (Hank) Paulson to conclude that he needed a way to force banks to loan money again. For beginners, the financial market is in such deep doo-doo because of markets freeze on cash lending. Even an 850 fico score does no longer guarantee that you'll get a loan to pay for that new "beemer", and let's forget about that Heloc you thought you could tap into.
This whole mess started with the subprime mortgage. "Predatory borrowers" as would say Phil Gramm, bought houses with money they didn't have, took loans they couldn't afford, and got ensnared into payments they couldn't make. Gramm, who has been quoted lately, thus coining the phrase "a nation of whiners" referring to America, is a strong advocate of free market and an ardent forceful voice of market deregulation, argues that "subprime lending is the American dream in action" as he recounts how his mother, a young nurse working double shifts to support her family of 5, bought a bungalow as a "result of a finance company making a mortgage loan that a bank would not make".
On a slightly different note, Gramm goes as far to say it is hard for him "to feel sorry" for Social Security beneficiaries and has urged for a reduction, if not an extermination of the food stamp program. I used to think like him, more so as an Immigrant who has worked her behind off to get where I am today, until about two years ago I watched a video of this middle age woman who had to rely on such program and charity to support herself and her family to meet ends. She had two bachelor degrees and a master, had a good job, owned her house. Then one day she got ill, very ill and was forced to take some time off her job, then some more time off, ran over her FMLA and finally got axed because her company could no longer afford her absences. With her source of income been cut off, her medical bills started piling up, she had to get rid of her house (or did she lose it through repossession? I can't quite remember), finally found herself on the street. I had no choice but soften my views on federal aids and their recipients. Of course, there are some abuses and I would agree for some more stringent laws that can curtail them. However, no need for a PhD to figure out that GREED will break loose if not carefully "monitored". Greed got hold of Fannie Mae executives as they would fattened up their pocket books with bonuses as high as $11.6 millions in salary for its former CEO Franklin Raines, $86k in bonuses for 749 lucky as reported by Peter Miller from the Realty Times. Even at a microsystem scale, we've seen spouses kill their partner in a hope of cashing some life insurance money, or empty their bank accounts and flee to greener pastures with their "grinner" lover. We've seen people confessing of the most gruesome acts thinking they would not get caught. What's make Mr. Gramm & Cie think the same wouldn't not have happened with those big shots that, we, tax payers are now imposed on to bail out? With the "blamees" been identified, what about an effective solution to get us out of the ditch? Paulson has shown some modicum of intelligence by first stopping short from buying bad assets from those companies that need "help" and second by recognizing that banks need to resume lending. For a small illustration, this is what the lending freeze is creating. For a company that sells goods and services, their clients need to borrow money that will allow them to acquire the good or service (may it be a new software that enhances or improves in many aspects the way they conduct their business and overall increase profitability). Now if the banks refuses to loan the cash, the client can't purchase the good or service, the selling company no longer makes money, thus can no longer afford to pay its employees, which leads to some layoffs, and the laid off employee can't pay their bills, which leads to more credit card debts, ultimately bankruptcy. Third, Henry Paulson need to find a way to force those banks to lend again and let the economy flow. The law does not currently oblige banks to lend money, that's why the term "negociations" exist. Paulson could upon pouring our tax money into those troubled companies require them to:
- Fire all those execs who were incompetent enough to allow this mess to see daylight;
- Improve lending practices using regulatory methods that would still generate reasonable profits for them and permit small and big businesses to keep current jobs and why not, expand.
Home owners should definitely be given priority (although some of them should not qualify) as well. It would reduce the exponential rate of foreclosures, which in turn will help deserving homeowners to keep the value of their house if not higher than what they were bought for, then equal to their selling price.
Hopefully, this economical downturn will teach each one of us a lesson: America please learn to live within your means.

I've learned to like/love my job

2008-11-12T13:08:00.002-05:00

For those who don't know me, I'm a professional Software Engineer. My friends to tease me, call me a geek which I dislike but not so much now cause I've learned to love my job. It all started very recently. I had noticed I'd complain about work, long hours at the office, endless troubleshooting issues and little reward aside the little thrill one may get when a problem is solved. So I decided I had to do something about it.
First I tried to stop whining about it, to no avail until one day, I came across a great quote from my friend V. (she doesn't even know it): "I'm embracing my geeky side and I'm loving it" and it just dawned on me, instead of fighting it I needed to embrace my geeky side. After all that's why I went to school for. I could feel my neurons racing and dancing throughout my nervous system, and my frontal lobe thrusting its torso, I had just liberated them!!
I needed change, a change of attitude, a change of heart which sent me retracing my path on how I got there in the first place. For starters, I've never really dreamed of becoming a Developer although I've got both my Associate and Bachelor in Computer Science.
Back in the mid 90s when I was in high school, at the end of our freshman year, we, the students, had to choose between literature and science. I chose to do science cause I thought literature was too "easy", I mean, boring and frankly there was no interesting jobs in the field. After our sophomore year, we could or our advisers could choose whether we'd further our studies in Natural Science or Hard Core Science (Math, Physics & Chemistry). I chose the latter because I never had a thing for natural science, it required to carry around an encyclopedic book which students had to literally memorize in order to pass the national exam at year end. I'd prefer math and physics cause there's little to no memorization involved. Then came college time, I decided to go with Computer Science, I found it fascinating, mostly challenging. And this is when, I believe, the downfall started. In college, I had two jobs, one full time and one part-time while going to school full-time, all of this in order to pay for school tuition, rent and food. It paid off at last, I graduated Cum Laude with a Bachelor of Science in Computer Science. Although I had good grades in school, it's until I got my first job as a Professional that I realized that I was just studying to get by, enough to maintain a certain level of knowledge. This time, I couldn't just do enough to get by, I became accountable for my deeds bad, good or in-between. The extra effort made me resent my job and everything that came with it, overtime, strenuous issues, the very thing I got trained to do became a source a profound distaste, it was clear and imperative that something had to change.
Upon my brain cells liberation, I felt a sense of betterment embalming my inner being. I knew I had just hit my golden pot. After all every success comes with sacrifices, it's just a matter of analyzing the cost/benefits balance. I weighed what it would cost me to right the helm that I had unconsciously let slipped away. The choice was evident and today I can confidently say I love my job.

What Obama's Victory taught me

2008-11-05T08:02:00.004-05:00

As the victory of the FIRST Black President of the United States of America was unfolding yesterday in front of my eyes, I started thinking back how it all started. I thought of the Primaries and remembered how strong and still he remained throughout the lows. Even as Senator Clinton realized that victory was slipping away from her by "throwing at him the kitchen sink", President Obama stood still, strong and true to himself, even as the famous Rev Wright "turned his back on him" he stood still, strong and true to himself, even when it appeared that the GOP VP's pick had galvanized not only the republican base but the undecideds, he stood still, strong and true to himself. There are times in our lives when all seem to go the opposite direction, when long time friends (like Rev Wright) turn their back on us, when every plan is unplanned and the ultimate decision that we face would either do us or undo us. What do we do then? Do we look inward to pull up that strength we need? Or do we look outward at disconcerting events and reacting to them? Do we look up upward to that Guy upstairs for discernment and wisdom? Or do we look at other people who may not have our best interests at heart? Do we stay true to ourselves and ideals, to our values and beliefs?
Barack Obama led the most amazing campaign in the history of American Politics. The dishes, the sink and even the Plumber were thrown at him, he dissociated himself with the troublemakers, he reasserted himself, remained true to the American people who have supported him and HE PREVAILED!!!

MAY GOD BLESS THE UNITED OF AMERICA "and nobody else".

2008-11-05T07:59:00.001-05:00

CONGRATULATIONS PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA!!!

I did it at last...

2008-11-03T20:10:00.004-05:00

As die-hard Hillary supporter, I was pleased to see that Senator Obama had a special spot on his site for her supporters. So, I finally did it, I donated to "The One". Below is the thank you note I've received from an automated system. One thing intrigued me as i was filling up the form, one of the check boxes said and I quote: Check this box to confirm that the following statements are true and accurate:

I am a United States citizen or a lawfully-admitted permanent resident.

Does this mean that a political refugee or an International student or someone on a H1B visa, all of the above are some of the legal statuses in this country, can't donate to a campaign? After all, even they can't vote, the political decisions would also affect them same as a United States citizen or a lawfully-admitted permanent resident, so why the disclaimer?

Dear Patricia,

Thank you for your generous donation of $50.00.

From the beginning, this campaign has been built and funded by supporters like you giving only what they can afford.

In the final days of this election we need to work harder than ever to build our movement for change. Here's how you can get involved to make sure that on November 4th, we get the change we need.

* Give Barack a Day -- Volunteer in your home state or travel to a battleground state for the last four days before the election:

http://my.barackobama.com/giveoneday

* Canvass your neighborhood or call from home -- Undecided voters need to hear from supporters like you, and our online tools make it easy:

http://my.barackobama.com/n2n

* Vote -- Make sure everyone you know has the facts on where to vote, what to bring, and opportunities in your state to vote early in person or by mail:

http://www.voteforchange.com

Thank you again for your generosity,

Obama for America

P.S. -- Want to show your support with some Obama-Biden gear? There are plenty of great items at the Obama Store.

Right now, you can get 25% off your whole order with coupon code: 25OFF

http://store.barackobama.com

I cried...

2008-11-01T17:15:00.003-04:00

I cried at a movie today, Fireproof was the title, a kind of movie a la Tyler Perry with Kirk Cameron as the lead actor and cuter than ever (Sorry Chels, your husband is just a cute guy). I'm not a big fan of tears even when it comes to my own challenges but what I watched was just very touching so to speak. Although I 'm not going to use this post to narrate the movie, a few weeks ago after I'd just seen Tyler Perry's the Family that Preys, I realized why people usually don't rush to see his kind of production. Tyler Perry's movies are very down to earth, they're about our everyday lives, the struggles we face, our failed or successful relationships, the influence of money of lack thereof and last but not least God. There are many reasons people watch movies, but one, if not the main is: to evade, to escape. To escape from that nagging wife, to escape from those noisy kids, to escape from that sick parent who needs care, to escape from that debt that keeps piling on, to escape and not have to think. That's why movies like The Matrix, SpiderMan, Batman, 27 dresses, The Devil wears Prada and so on are such hits. They help us get into this virtual world where their reality becomes ours for 1 1/2 - 2 hrs. With Tyler Perry or movie like Fireproof, it gets personal. Any cheating wife, or dead beat father who has watched The Family that Preys would think they're in the dock. Any husband who would rush to work if there's an emergency or open their laptop to solve that service request but won't lift the finger when their own wife needs them whether it's for washing the dishes or just for quality time, would definitely feel uneasy while watching Fireproof. These kind of movies puts us on trial, they dare us to look at ourselves (or at least part of ourselves) into the mirror and to truly face our inner demons. There's no way to evade, no way to escape, oh yes there is, we can always get up and leave.

I'm listening to

2008-10-28T23:06:00.002-04:00

Amel Bent Ma philosophie clip
Uploaded by amelbentattitude

My philosophy

I've got one philosophy
To be accepted as I am
In Spite of what I'm told
I keep my fist raised
For better for worse
I'm biracial not a martyr
I go on lighthearted
Always with my fist raised
My head high
My thrusting torso
Constantly striving
Life leaves me no choice
I'm the Ace that beats the King
Despite our struggles and differences
And all those constant insults
I will raise my fist
Higher and further
Aiming at the moon
Doesn't scare me
Even when I'm older
I still believe with all my heart
Sacrifices I'll make if needed
I've alreay made them
Always with my fist raised
I'm not like all those girls
Stared at and undressed
I'm curvy and well shaped
It warms up hearts
I'm from the ghetto
And I'm proud
More love than misery
more heart than stone
I've got one philosophy
To be accepted as I am
With strength and smiles
My fist raised towards the future

My head high
My thrusting torso
Constantly striving
Life leaves me no choice
I'm the Ace that beats the King
Aiming at the moon
Doesn't scare me
Even when I'm older
I still believe with all my heart
Sacrifices I'll make if needed
I've alreay made them
Always with my fist raised

Should Africa expect much from Obama?(2)

2008-10-12T03:27:00.002-04:00

In my previous post, I talk about Africa in a very broad and general manner which brought some criticisms from my readers. Therefore in this post, I'd like to clarify a few points to support my claim: "Africa is cursed". There is an underlying "African Effect", an electrical voltage that runs through out most Africans countries, could it be poverty as my friend Virginia suggested? Or something bigger, or a superstitiously [non] empirical doom that has proved to be Africa nemesis. Or maybe it's just as blatant and simple as what has brought Wall St to its knees: GREED.
- The Sudanese government has sold its soul to China in exchange for guns and Oil for China. Talking about China, someone at the meeting asked a question to one of Obama's representatives: "Would Obama curtail China action in Africa? As China has been selling weapons to propagate the genocide." The answer: "Absolutely, Obama spoke with President Nelson Mandela along w/ other Leaders who give him advices." (it was clear that the Rep had no clue of what advices were given or what specifically Obama intends to do once in the office)
Nevertheless, here is an advice that I have for him: "Get rid of all those "leaders" of disasters who have been in power for over quarter century starting with: Paul Biya in Cameroon.
Or at least, could he reinforce what The Bush Administration has already started, in appointing a command for Africa, whose goal is "to prevent conflict, as opposed to having to react to a conflict
" as defined by the Appointee, General William E. Ward.
- Cameroon, along with many other African countries (Chad, Nigeria, Gabon, and so forth...) is full natural resources but its population is as poor as church's mice while its rulers drive latest trucks models, send their kids to Fustell de Coulanges (a prestigious school) and get their healthcare overseas.
Its diaspora would like and has tried to intervene with not much success. Andrew Mwavu, the townhall's moderator, mentioned that as a 31year old male, this 2008 Presidential election will be the very first one in which he will vote!! My first reaction to it was shock, then ten seconds later I realized we (most of the attendees in the room) were all in the same boat: Here I am at 27 and I've never voted on anything anywhere. Somehow, it's true that for a big number of Africans who have left their country whether is for study abroad or better professional opportunities, they have by ricochet "forced" themselves to exile and thus have no political influence in their native country.
Of course not everywhere is chaos in Africa, there are some success stories like in Rwanda as noted by Patrick, and Senegal which despite its size half one's of Ivoiry Coast, has a much stronger economy and has seen its inflation fall to 3.3% in 2003 from 32% in 1994.
Obama may have a Kenyan father, he may have some sweet policies for Africa, and he may even be the next US President, would he have any major impact in the continent? I have great reservations about it.

Should Africa expect much from Obama?(1)

2008-09-28T20:18:00.008-04:00

Africa is cursed! Period.
It's been quite some time now that I've intended to express some opinions of my own about what an Obama Presidency would do for Africa. However, in all fairness, I decided to attend a town hall meeting branded "Africans for Change" sponsored by the Obama Campaign and hosted by Andrew Mwavua, a 31 yr old Kenyan native. The scheduled start time for the meeting was 2:30pm, I got there ten min late as I got lost on my way. Nevertheless it didn't start til exactly 3:20pm which is quite "early" given it was an event organized by Africans. I really can't explain where this laxity with time comes from in regards to Africans whether they are Kenyans, Cameroonians, Liberians, Togoleses or Nigerians. Invite them to a 4:00pm party and they won't start showing up til about 7pm.
Back to the point, instead of writing a very long diatribe about my people in one post, I'll try and do it in two parts or more. In this first post, I'll expose some of the reasons I believe that dear continent (no, Africa is not a country) of mine operates under a malediction.

Darfur: Remember Darfur? A region located in Southwest Sudan where since February 2003, the genocide has resulted in 2.5 million deaths as reported by Eren Göknar from the Town Crier. This is not a conflict with another nation, nor a fight against terrorism. It's one nation, one people killing each other based on their tribe difference. 2.5 million deaths!! just a million shorter of LA population, and nearly the whole town of Chicago. Imagine for a second the city of Chicago completely annihilated, wiped out of the map. That's what Africans are currently doing to each other.
Rwanda: 14 yrs later Rwanda has still not recovered from the genocide that ripped apart its land -- 800,000 and 1,000,000 is the estimated death toll. Skeletons, debris from the war, are now displayed as a genocide museum at Murambi Technical School. Videos of compelling stories about that "endless screaming silence" as described by Fergal keane, a very gruesome era, can be found here.
Democratic Congo (ex Zaire) : it's been only 5 years since the conflict has "ceased". The massacre was so deadly that it was baptised African World War III. Today another form of war has taken place: poverty, famine, malnutrition and diseases.

These are just few major examples that have captivated and were reported by the International media. Just a few years ago, it was Nigeria --the Northerners against the Southerners, Muslims vs. Christians. Some have reported to lie to muslim authorities by passing themselves as christans to avoid lapidation. More recently it was Kenya and then Cameroon. There is always something disastrous going on in Africa. I've come to believe that Africans don't like themselves very much, if not at all, let alone their own brothers or sisters.
At the town hall meeting the host/moderator Andrew urged us, Africans, to unite, to form one body, one community in other to effectively make our voice heard by those leaders who take decisions on behalf of Africans without Africans involved. He emphasized the power of unity by citing the Cuban and Jew communities as examples, who have become such powerful entities that no politician can get elected in some areas without "paying them homage". There is no doubt about the power of oneness: when a couple becomes one, babies are born, families are founded and clans are formed. And when people become one, Nations are born and Things happen. Can Africans surmount their hatred for one another to reach that goal?

A special thanks to my friends Yves for the links to the videos, and Paule for inviting me to the townhall.

--Patricia JB--

Summer is over!!

2008-09-20T11:24:00.009-04:00

It's been about three weeks that the weather here in our town has been reminding us that summer time is all behind!!
A summer of Trips and Rejuvenation,
A summer of life changing decisions
A summer of Hope
A summer in Gottingen
A summer in Jersey
A summer in Paris
A summer in Philly
A summer in New York
A summer of Peccadilloes
A summer of Faith
A summer of Opportunities
A summer of Dreams
A summer of Realities
A summer of Enjoyment
A summer of Delight
A summer of Friends
A summer of Hobbies
Fall is right here!!
A Fall of all my favorite shows: Grey's Anatomy, Desperate Housewives, Boston Legal, Jungle Lipstick, Life, gosh, where am I gonna take time to watch'em all?
And last but not least
A Fall of exciting politics

Things Observed

2008-09-14T15:34:00.006-04:00

I like observing people sometimes to a fault, and then examine my thoughts about my own observations. Therefore in that same spirit, I was in church one day and I noticed a couple sitting at the end of an aisle, I knew it was a couple because the guy's arm was resting upon his partner 's chair and I thought: "wow, we have a become a very progressive, revolutionized church!! A gay couple in our church!?" I was marveling about the idea until the other "guy" got up and stepped out (maybe to go to the bathroom?) and I noticed a pair of boobs and somehow, a little disappointment ran me through: "Too good to be true. May have to wait for some more time, to see a gay couple in my church".
Today, as I was sitting I watched a contingent of five walked by: a very young girl 16-19ish holding in her arms a baby girl (the baby was swaddled in a pinkish blanket), a middle age woman that I assumed to be the young girl's mom and following behind was an equally young man (early 20s) holding a probably 2-2(1/) years old very blond boy. The middle age woman and young girl sat next to each other, the young man sat next to the young girl and that's when I dreadfully noticed a wedding band on the young girl's finger. And the whole ordeal made me think of Bristol (Palin's pregnant teenage daughter and the fact that Bristol and her baby's father were to marry in a near future). For a minute, I admired the courage of this young girl and man, mother and father of two to forgo her/his "future" to take care of their kids. Yes I think it requires courage to bring up a child especially if it wasn't planned, as Lord knows how many would rather take la clé des champs (as the French say) or go to greener pastures.
There was also a baby dedication and as the pastor was reading the babies's name that needed to be dedicated, I noticed parents like giving all those biblical names to their child in the hope their kids will grow up to be just like the personage they carry the name: Malachie, Melkisedec, Jedediah, Schekinah...etc. This often makes me wonder if a name truly has any influence on one's self. I so believe in our free will that gives each one of us the ability to make good or bad choices that I really have a hard time grasping the methodology behind baby's name choice. Moreover, as that dear pastor of mine often says: "A child will grow doing what we tell them until they reach the age when they'll do exactly what we do".
Earlier today, I scanned the NYTimes front page and drilldoown on a link about this English teacher, brilliant writer who hanged himself two days ago (the body was found in his home), his name: David Foster Wallace. The news ignited a flow of questions: why did he commit suicide? Was he not fulfilled? He wrote the "The Infinite Jest" (I swear to God, I remember seeing that book lying around in the house somewhere, got to read that), a book who apparently revolutionize Post-modern litterature. What was such a burden on him that he thought taking his life away would appease him? Was he not happy? What was so monstrous that he couldn't bear the thought of seeing his reflection in a mirror? Why Mr. Wallace, why? 46 only? Why?